Pieces
by ToniLOVESjolie
Summary: After the death of her boyfriend, Natalie finds herself trying to pick up the Pieces of her life.. Jolie Story
1. Chapter 1

Chapter One

Balloons floated towards the ceiling, an arrangement of reds, blues, greens and a pink just to add a bit of flare. Music played loudly in the background as she scurried about, moving last minute items and checking to make sure everything was perfect, it had to be, this was his day, their day, it was going to be perfect.

Everything finally in its place, cold beer in the fridge, a long sub piled high with all the extras, and a smile on her lips as she looked at her creations. She was damn proud of herself and what she had accomplished in no little more than five hours, Natalie Buchanan, party planner extraordinaire, she laughed to herself as she got caught up in the moment.

The sound of the door bell ringing snapped her quickly from her thoughts as a small yelp left her lips and she sprung to the door..

"Wow this is beautiful" Marty gleamed as she stepped inside, bags in hand. " You really outdone yourself this time girl" she beamed as she looked around. Marty was Natalie's best friend, like a sister, only better cause she wasn't family, needless to say the Buchanan's were far from normal., but they worked closely together at work, Natalie a Forensic Tech, Marty a therapist, and boy did she know how to psycho-analyze everyone, including Natalie..

"Why thank you, I think it's pretty darn good" Natalie smiled big and bowed dramatically..

"Any day now girls, I would love to get inside, …heavy, bags" a male voice grunted from the hallway..

"geez John, you big baby" Marty laughed as John made his way inside.."he complained the whole time, you would think I was murdering him"

"what may kill me are all these balloons" John put the bags down and looked around perplexed…"this is a super bowl party right, not some night at the Roxbury?"

"Don't be rude" Marty jabbed him in the side and he shrugged his shoulders as he grabbed a beer and swiftly moved to the couch and flopped on it..

"Don't mind him, its perfect Nat, Cris is going to love it" Marty reassured her as she shot John a disapproving look and he pretended not to see..

John and Cris were best friends, partners as well at the LPD for almost a year now, little get togethers like this was a ritual to them all..

"We do have enough alcohol, right?" John flicked a pink balloon away from his head as he drank his beer and Marty rolled her eyes at him.."What?"

"Any who Nat, the place looks great, I love the new couches" Marty took a seat as she rubbed her hand on it..

"well thanks, Cris and I picked it out together" Natalie began as John snorted some and mumbled under his breath and now Natalie rolled her eyes at him…"I wonder where he is, Cris should have been here by now"

"Maybe he is still looking for his balls" John laughed as the game started..

"cute John, very cute" Natalie shook her head, John definitely had the personality that you either loved or hated, lucky for him , he had grew on her.."Let me go give him a call and see what's taking so long" she finished as she headed to her bedroom where it was much quieter..

Just as she picked up her phone it began to ring and she smiled as she read the caller ID, Cristian Vega…"babe I was just going to call you" she sat down on the bed..

"I'm sorry I'm late, it's all this damn traffic, I had to head up to Lantano lake" Cris began, frustration in his voice, she knew he never liked to miss a game, definitely not the super bowl..

"That's alright, it just started, the gangs here" she began as he sighed deeply

"You tell John not to drink up all my beer" Cris laughed some..

"Of course, have some waiting on ice for you" she twirled her long red locks in her fingers…

"Alright well let me go, some idiot is beeping his horn" Cris grunted as a loud beeping could be heard..

"Ok babe" she barely got out before he hung up and she sighed deep..

_Cris and Natalie had been officially dating now for almost two years, it was actually two years ago this very day that she had met him, at a party a few of her friends had invited her to._

_Loud music emanated through the house as Natalie shuffled around, beer in hand, trying not to lose her balance as she weaved through people, people she didn't even know, she shouldn't be there, she really had studying to do, her forensic test was only in a few short days.._

_Making her way through the house she saw an escape, a door and she practically ran to it, only to sigh when she realized it was a balcony, no way out but the view was beautiful, overlooking Lantano Lake.._

_"Great view" a male voice said behind her and she jumped as she spun around, spilling her beer onto her jeans, new jeans for that matter.."oh crap"_

_"Damn it" she rubbed the liquid against her leg in frustration.._

_"I'm sorry" the voice said again, handing her a napkin as she looked up, ready to yell , only to smile some as she looked into soft brown eyes.._

_He was cute, not that she was looking cause she definitely wasn't, she had her fair share of dates and encounters, all turning out the same, now it was time to focus on school and her soon to be new job, but he was really cute, tall, short cropped brown hair, light brown eyes, definitely someone who worked out.._

_"Cris, Cristian Vega" he held his hand out and she sucked in a deep breath as she listened to his name, Cristian Vega?, the Cristian Vega who just moved to Lanview, Rookie cop who already made a name for himself by finding five years old Katie Jones who had been missing for 3 days, he was like a local celebrity, it made her nervous.._

_"Nat-talie" she stuttered abit then got composure as she shook his hand.._

_"Oh I know" he grinned some…"I know your uncle, I'm really sorry about your jeans"_

_"Oh please its fine" she tried to shake it off and she turned a bit red, was she flirting with him?_

_"let me at least get you another drink" he waited for her answer and even though everything was telling her to get back home and study, she just nodded her head and smiled, one beer won't hurt.._

Natalie smiled at the memories, things turned out good for her and Cris, really good actually, he had made detective, she passed her forensics, they moved in together after 6 months and life was good, really good..

"Nat, you're missing the game" Marty called from the living room as Natalie shook the thoughts from her mind and headed out with her friends..

Almost 30 minutes later, Nat sat on the couch, engulfed in the game with her friends as John cell went off, making them all jump at the unexpected noise..

"Great" John sighed as he glanced at his phone and quickly answered it.."McBain, yep….on my way" he finished as he stood and Marty sighed loud..

"Were at a party" she grumbled in disapproval..

"and work never sleeps" John grabbed his keys…"I shouldn't be too long"

"Try not to" Marty sighed..

"Is it bad, do you think Cris is there?" Natalie began, it would make sense as to why he still wasn't home, she was use to this, she had to be, it wasn't easy dating a cop..

"Probably, I'll bring him back with me" John took another look at the TV and with a frustrated sigh he left as the girls sat there..

"Figures" Natalie huffed as she looked around..

"It ain't a total bust, we still have all this alcohol" Marty smiled as Natalie shrugged her shoulders, nothing ever went her way..

It seemed like hours had passed as the girls drank and talked, the game was eventually turned off as music played in the background..The sound of voices, male voices were heard from the hallway as both girls darted their eyes that way..

"It's about damn time" Marty began as Natalie got up and opened the door…

"We never thought you two were going to come back" she stopped in her tracks as she looked at her uncle Bo, standing there, a few police officers behind him.."Bo?"

"Natalie" Bo began as Marty came and joined her at the door, both girls feeling their hearts sank, Bo at the door, police officers with them, Natalie could barely speak as she looked on..

"Nat, sweetie, I need you to sit down" Bo placed a hand on her shoulder and fear filled her body..

"Bo, what's going on, where's Cris" Natalie's voice shook..

"Where's John" Marty interjected

"sweetie please" Bo said with a look in his eye that made a knot immediately form in Natalie's gut, her legs got weak, the room began to spin.."There was an accident" was all she heard as her vision got blurry, her knees buckled from under her and everything went black..

The days turned into nights, and the nights became endless, the darkness was overwhelming, in one short moment her life had been ripped out from underneath her, her happiness gone, her future gone, Cristian Vega was gone..

The next few days felt like eternity, it felt like a dream, no, a nightmare, one from which Natalie could not wake up from. She couldn't sleep, she couldn't eat, she could barely function, and she had cried so much she was sure she may just die of a broken heart..

She stared blankly now at the hole in the ground, bag pipes playing in the background, she could barely hear the voices around her, the touch of her mother's hand on hers gave her little comfort and the sound of John's voice made her eyes close..

"He wasn't just an outstanding officer of the law, he was my friend, my best friend" his voice cracked some but he sucked it up.."today the world lost a great man, a man who I would be proud to call brother" his face remained that of stone as he spoke, his fists clenched by his sides, Natalie looked to the ground…

The beeping of the car that Natalie had heard on that last phone conversation with Cris was that of 55 yr Brian Lane having a seizure as they waited in traffic, Cris must have noticed cause what happened next could only be considered a horrific nightmare..In another vehicle drove 40 yr old Burt Jones, a truck driver, half asleep behind the wheel of a semi, not noticing that traffic was piling up, not seeing Cris as he plowed through the vehicles, ensuing a massive explosion..

Natalie squeezed her eyes tight as she replayed that last conversation in her head, she looked at the ring on her finger, the one found inside Cris's burnt SUV, the only thing remaining from that unimaginable night, he was going to propose, she would of said yes, they would have been married, but that was gone now and all she had left was the ring, that was all she had left of her beloved Cris.

"Sweetie,….sweetie it's time to go" her mother spoke softly as Natalie finally opened her eyes, not even realizing how long they had been closed, nearly everyone gone..

Natalie couldn't move, as if frozen in time…"I can bring her home Mrs. Buchanan" John spoke from behind her as Vicki looked on in tears, her heart breaking for her daughter..

Her mother seemed as though she was going to argue the fact but instead she shook her head, than planted a soft kiss on Natalie's forehead before walking away.

John took a seat next to Natalie, both of them sitting in silence, both mourning the loss of someone dear, the day quickly turned to night as they sat there, and it wasn't until Natalie felt a coat being put on her shoulders that she noticed she was shivering in the cold night, her eyes darted to Johns..

He could barely take in her sight, she looked broken, her eyes red, blurred with tears as she looked at him, all that escaped her mouth was a cracked "Cris is gone" as she cried upon his shoulder and his arm held her tight…

John held her as his thoughts went back to that fateful day, the day he arrived at the accident scene, one out of a horror story, smoke billowing everywhere and then he saw the SUV, but not just anyone, Cris's and it was up in flames.

John and Cris had met on John's first day at the LPD, Cris was still somewhat a rookie, and John being almost ten years older took him under his wing, he was like a big brother to Cris, and any other time they weren't working they could be found together, whether it be at Rodi's having a beer and playing pool or fishing down at the lake, and the fact that their girlfriends were friends made it all so much easier.

John shook the images from his head as he looked into the dark night sky, Natalie's sobbing had slowed down a bit and the chill in the air would make both of them sick if they stayed out any longer, so without giving her a chance to speak he lifted her up in his arms, cradling her almost like a child as he brought her to his car and placed her inside, glad that she didn't fight him.

Natalie didn't say anything as John began to drive her home, neither of them did until she saw the familiar fence surrounding her parent's house and her breathing quickened..

"please…not here" she whispered, she couldn't bear to be around her family any more today, the looks, the whispers, it was all too much..

John knew how she felt because he too wanted to be away from everyone, alone with his thoughts, so he continued to drive.."Where"

"Home, I want to go home" she stared out the window..

"Nat, I don't think" he began and she looked at him hard..

"Please,….not you too John" her voice pleaded with him and he couldn't deny her this, Natalie was a big girl, a tough cookie, not a child, he would respect her wishes, it was the least he could do..

Pulling up to the apartment complex made them both let out a sigh as Natalie opened her door and got out, John following her as she handed him the coat back…

"I'll be fine" she said with strength from deep down inside.."Thank you" she turned from him and he put his hand on her shoulder, stopping her but she didn't turn to face him…"Please…don't" she swallowed the lump in her throat and his hand fell from her shoulder and she walked inside, leaving him standing by his car as she made her way to the apartment, stopping at the door for a second before opening it..

The sight around her was too much to take, half deflated balloons, beer bottles, old food, her heart sank as quickly as her knees as she fell to them, sobbing uncontrollably..


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two

John hadn't slept at all that night, he found himself wandering from bar to bar until his legs were too weak to walk , his brain too fried to think, and his body to numb to feel. He had informed Vicki of where Natalie was and even though she was none to happy with the decision but not much she could do about it, Natalie was not a child and she didn't want her to close off anymore..

Marty on the other hand was relentless with calling him, over and over until he finally shut his phone off, he just wanted to be alone and she would just have to understand that, she knew how he was, it's not like he ran around with his feelings on his sleeve, I mean hell they had been together for almost a year now and he still had his own place even though Marty was constantly trying to get him to move in or vice versa.

John laid in his bed, staring at the ceiling, his mind on Cris, he was angry, angry at the world for taking such a great person, and then there was Natalie, Cris loved her, John knew that and now she was a mess and he felt guilty for staying away, Cris was his best friend, he should be looking out for Natalie but then again he would have to see her and that didn't settle well with him..

A few days passed and Natalie would get up to use the bathroom, sit on the couch, and stare into the emptiness of the apartment. Her mother would come by and bring food and straighten up, even Marty would stop by and try and make small talk but it all seemed so pointless now.

She didn't know what to do with herself, obviously she had a leave of absence from work but she honestly didn't even know if she wanted to go back, she could only imagine the stares and whispers she would get, it would be too much to bear but then again when her parents would come by she would over hear them talking about her mental and emotional well being, they were concerned, would they try and commit her, the thought scared her so she began to put on a fake smile and move around whenever anyone came by…

Then there was John, she dreaded ever seeing him again and she hadn't seen him since he dropped her off after the funeral but he called a few times a day and she felt relieved that at least she had him fooled enough so that he wouldn't come by cause he would see right through her, he always could…

The sound of the doorbell going off made her sigh deep, would it never end…She walked reluctantly to the door and fixed her pony tail, wiped the sleep from her eyes, adjusted her clothes and put on a smile as she opened the door and to her surprise it was John..

Seeing her standing there made him want to run as he took in her appearance, he had never saw her like this, so disheveled..

"John?" she said with surprise, she wasn't expecting him and it took everything in her to not slam the door in his face..

"So I uh, brought some burgers" he held up a greasy brown bag..

"Oh,….I just ate" she lied and he knew it as he moved past her and into the apartment.."ok then" she said with frustration as she closed the door and he made his way towards the kitchen..

The place didn't look bad, apparently her mom was keeping the place up as well as Marty, that's how he got the majority of his updates even though he put himself so deep in his work that he barely even saw Marty these days, he had to do something with his time, and apparently Natalie needed the same thing cause sitting around here wasn't doing her any good.

Natalie stood in the living room trying to think of a polite way to make him leave and there he came, two beers in hand and sitting down as he dug into the bag..

"I'm sure it's been awhile since you had a Rodi's burger" he passed her one and she finally sat across from him, looking at the burger as he began to stuff his face…

"You didn't have to come here John" she began as he glanced up at her, food in his mouth…"I'm really not hungry"

"Oh now I know your lying,…eat" he finished as he swallowed his food, he couldn't let her go on like this, what kind of friend would he have been to Cris to watch her live this way..

"Fine… I will eat" she took an obnoxiously big bite.."Happy?" she said with a mouth full of food as he looked at her and shook his head.."what?"

"Nothing" he took another bite and so did she, they ate like that until the burgers were gone, neither of them talking till John got up and she did too, quickly..

"Thanks for the burgers" she practically ran for the door and he cocked his head at her and raised an eyebrow as he headed back into the kitchen…"John" she called out..

"Uh huh" he called from the kitchen and she sighed deep…

"I have things to do" she lied yet again, she just wanted him to go already, she ate, he should be happy damn it, end of visit!

"Yeah im sure you do" he came back in the room, another beer in hand as he plopped on the couch and she just stood there, shocked..

"Listen John I know what you're doing" she walked over to the couch, looking at him..

"Oh you do?" his eyes challenged her…

"You want me to say it, im fine ok..fine" she stomped her foot, she was getting mad now and he just put his feet up on the coffee table and sipped his beer..

"Your gonna have to do better than that" he took a large gulp…

"What do you want John" she gritted her teeth..

"when are you coming back to work, you can start with telling me that" he sipped some more and she shook her head..

"This is ridiculous, I took a leave of absence" she put her hands on her hips..

"Ok, and when are you planning on coming back, or are you not?" he began as she laughed a bit sarcastically..

"Oh im coming back" she rolled her eyes and began to pace some..

"You need out get out of this place Natalie, work , it will be,…good" this was harder then he thought.

"You know John just cause you're a workaholic doesn't mean I have to be, I mean who the hell do you think you are" she raised her voice, he was infuriating her..

"I thought I was a friend" he stood up now and she shook her head..

"I took a little leave of absence, I think I am entitled to it, considering" she didn't even want to say his name so she left it at that..

"Cris wouldn't want you to be like this" he spoke before he could stop himself and she felt a knot form in her throat…

"yeah well he aint here now right, so it really doesn't matter what he would think" her voice cracked..

"You're throwing everything away" he put his beer down and she rolled her eyes…

"Oh I am so sorry it is so easy for you John" she snapped at him…

"Damn it Natalie you have to pick yourself up, pick up the pieces of your life, look at this" he looked around the place.."look at you" he said with aggravation..

"You know what, you can just leave, like now" she was fuming, how dare he!

"I lost him too" he yelled, shocking himself as tears filled up in her eyes…

"Don't tell me about loss John, he was my everything, i…i…I loved him" she spun around quickly as tears streamed down her face and guilt flowed through him and he walked towards her..

"I'm sorry" he whispered and she just shook her head and refused to face him…"Its just that your hiding in here while your life passes you by, I know he wouldn't want this for you"

"I just….i don't know what to do ,….anymore" her words came out in sobs…"How am I suppose to go out there" she finally turned and faced him, tears on her face..

"You just" he ran a nervous hand through his hair, he was so not good at this.."You just do it"

A small smile curved her tear filled face…"look at you, John McBain trying to sound like Dr Phil" she laughed as she cried..

"I'm not, good at this" he wiped the sweat from his brow..

"No, your not" she finished as she wrapped her arms around him tight, hugging him, taking him off guard.."a pep talk from John Mcbain, I must be in bad shape"

"Im trying here" he swallowed hard..

"I know and I thank you" she pulled back and looked at him…

"I don't really do good with the weeping women thing" he looked scared to death and she couldn't help but laugh…

"You did more then you know" she wiped her face some and took a deep breath as he shoved his hands in his pockets.."Would you like another beer "

"Please" he said quickly, relief in his voice, that was one hurdle he didn't want to climb over anytime soon..

The next day at work John stood by the coffee pot, waiting for it to brew, he had a slight hangover from the night before but it was well worth it.. Him and Natalie watched tv, laughed some, drank beers, it was almost like old times except for Cris but she smiled, a few times she genuinely smiled and he wondered if she would come to work, and that question was answered quickly by the deafening silence that fell upon the lobby as his eyes turned and met hers, she looked frightened..

Natalie felt her knees grow weak as she stepped into the prescient and it got even worse as everyone got quiet, maybe she should of just stayed home, she froze as she stood there until his voice was heard…

"You all getting paid to just stand around" John's voice bellowed loud as everyone began to scurry around and he walked over to her…"welcome home"

"Thanks" she glanced around as everyone moved swiftly around her…"I'm gonna get to work" she swallowed hard as she made her way quickly into her office and let out a deep sigh of relief as she closed the door, now only if she could just keep herself locked away in the office all day long.

She made her way to her desk as a knock was heard and her body stiffened as it opened and she spun around..

"I thought you could use this" John said as he handed her a cup of coffee..

"Yeah I could, by the way…thanks again for last night" she sipped the warm liquid as did he..

"It was nice, right?" and he meant it, he really had enjoyed himself and for the first time he began to think maybe he enjoyed it too much.

"Yeah, I needed that, and now im here" she took a deep breath and looked around, so did he…

"yeah well I will let you get to it then" he spun to the door quickly…"its good to have you back Natalie" he finished as he left the office..


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter Three

The days began to turn into weeks and weeks into months, as the pain and sorrow began to lift, Natalie and John began to grow closer as friends, as him and Marty began to fade quickly but not completely gone cause fights were breaking out left and right these days…

4 months prior….

John laid in the bed, the ringing in his ears getting louder, soon he realized it wasn't ringing at all, it was Marty..

"Im just saying that I called 4 times today and you could of atleast answered" Marty began stripping from her work clothes and tossing them about..

"I told you I was busy with the move" John groaned as he kicked his feet off the edge of the bed…

"Natalie is my friend too you know and you don't see me running to her for every little thing" Marty snapped as she walked in the bathroom and John sighed deep as he stood up and looked in the doorway..

"she needed my help, why cant you understand that" he began to get dressed, he wasn't going to spend another night fighting with her…

"Oh, so that's it, no im sorry, your just going to leave" Marty huffed as she stood in the doorway…

"well im sure as hell not going to stand here and yell" John grabbed for his shoes…

"what is it with you John, don't you see anything wrong with this?" she put her hands to her hips and shook her head..

"I helped a friend move, end of story" he ran his hand through his hair…

"John you are trying to make up for Cris's death but babying Natalie isn't going to help her" she walked towards him…"He was your friend, best friend but you are not responsible for Natalie, she is a big girl"

"It was boxes" he lowered his voice, all he did was help Natalie move, she wanted to get out of the apartment she shared with Cris, the memories were too much, so she found a place, a small cottage, he was helping, just helping…

"and I am sure she is grateful John, very grateful but your making this uncomfortable, and Natalie wouldn't tell you that, cause she wouldn't want to hurt your feeling, but you're her dead boyfriends best friend, maybe she doesn't need that kind of reminder" her words hit him like a ton of bricks as he stood there, soaking them all up..

John didn't know what to say, was he creeping Natalie out, was he imposing himself on her, was Marty , right?

"John" Marty touched his face softly…"I know things have not been perfect with us but its not bad, right…..we have fun, don't we?"

"Come on, don't do this" he began as he tried to think of what to say….

See John and Marty had been together for a yr now, well not technically together, exclusive one would say… They had met at one of the many police conventions, she was unlike the women that John frequented, she was smart, career minded, mature, he could carry a conversation with her..

See before John met Marty he didn't have the best track record with women, even though there was a lot of them, but he wasn't getting any younger and one day he wanted to settle down and for a short period of time he thought that if he tried really hard maybe he could do that with Marty but what ended up happening was they saw each other, maybe had dinner, some sex and then he would wait till she fell asleep and he would head back to his place, in all reality he was happy with that, it was uncomplicated and John liked things uncomplicated..

"You know what, I don't want to do this right now" she made her way to the bed and sat down and John made his way over to her..

"Im sorry, ok, I should of answered" he finally gave in as he sat down next to her…

Natalie sat in her new place and looked around at the numerous boxes, it was a bit small, just a one bedroom, one bath cottage in the middle of town but it was hers, hers to make new memories…

Two Months Prior…

Natalie had begin to make her new house a home but the tides were definitely turning., There was a tension building between her, John and Marty.. John had been very helpful over the last few months and it was now taking a toll on her and Marty's friendship, things were getting uncomfortable, especially since Marty was being more distant, not stopping by and barely calling..

She brought it up to John one day when he was over hooking up her internet access, its not like she asked, he offered and well she accepted..

"So this is the modem" John began as Natalie let out a small laugh, rolling her eyes at him…

"Ive been online John, I know" she smirked as she grabbed them another beer, she liked this, hanging out with him, it was kind of like old times, it was nice but weird at the same time without Marty there but in all reality Natalie kind of liked it this way…

"so I think your all set up here" John took the beer as he took in the sight of her, she had her glow back and it was a nice glow, he quickly took a sip of his beer, friends, they were friends..

"Thanks John" Natalie began as his phone went off and he looked at it quick and then shoved it in his pocket, taking another sip…

"If that's Marty" Natalie began and John shook his head..

"its fine, were busy" he said quickly and he knew it was wrong, his girl friend was calling and he was blowing her off…

"Were not" Natalie said with a bit of shame in her voice…"I mean I don't even see her anymore these days" there was a sadness in her voice and it kind of angered John that Marty would act this way towards Natalie, they were suppose to be friends..

"she's been busy with work" he lied and Natalie shook her head..

"You don't need to lie to me John, she is avoiding me, she has been since, since" she trailed off and then quickly took a sip.."I think I make her uncomfortable now, is she mad….mad that you're here?" the thought never crossed her mind till now that maybe Marty had a problem with John being over but then again surely John had invited her and she declined, right?

"Mad…No" he quickly downed his beer as he lied again, mad was an understatement, she was furious…

"I feel like a damn third wheel in my own relationship" Marty snapped loudly..

"Nat needs a friend right now, you do remember that you to were once her friend" John said with aggravation..

"Oh please, she doesn't even call me anymore" Marty said with sarcasm..

"maybe if you would answer she would" John stormed out of the room, Marty on his heels…

"You cant heal her wounds John, she is your best friends girlfriend, your letting her lean on you too much" Marty yelled and John spun around and laughed sarcastically..

"You sound jealous or something" he said with a nervous laugh..

"Jealous, are you kidding?" Marty laughed with a roll of her eyes and that pissed John off..

"whats that mean?" he snapped defensively…

"It means nothing, ok… " she lowered her voice and took a deep breath.." im not trying to imply anything is going on with you two cause that is ridiculous and wrong on so many levels, its just" she walked towards him, her eyes wide.. "its just that I miss you ok"

"were friends, right?" John help up his beer towards Natalie..

"Yeah, I guess" Natalie rolled her eyes a little…

"Ok then its settled, why cant two friends hang out, Marty is fine, she will be fine" he tilted his beer towards her and they tapped them together..

One Month Ago….

Natalie yawned and stretched in her bed as the fresh smell of coffee filled the air, she smiled as she rolled in bed, then frowned as she heard a loud clanking noise coming from outside and she groaned loud as she tossed in the bed some but the clanking continued…

"Come on" she yelled as she flung the blankets off herself and jumped out of bed, grabbing her robe as she got ready to have an uncomfortable encounter with the neighbors about the noise..

As she got to the front door and swung it open her eyes immediately got diverted to her front yard then the man in the front yard who was covered in dirt, John…

He was drenched in sweat with a pair of faded blue jeans on, a white tank top, his hair wet with sweat, his back facing her as he dug what resembled a drench in her front yard, she had to divert her eyes for a second cause the sight was a good one even being dirty as hell, and that's just how her mind felt, dirty..

John immediately felt eyes on him and it wasn't the creepy lady from next door who damn near parked a lawn chair up to watch him work, it was Natalie as he spun around and she stood there with a look of confusion and shock in her eyes as he quickly wiped his dirty hands on his jeans..

"I woke you huh?" he made his way up to the door and she was speechless for a second, how did he do that, make her feel that way, she shouldn't feel that way about him.

"No" she said quickly and then remembered the robe, messed up hair, slippers, she wanted to run away.."yea,…..what are you doing John" she finished quickly as she tightened her robe , feeling very under dressed at the moment..

"Oh this?" John looked at her yard…"I kind of over heard you say that your sprinklers were broken at work and I know they would charge you an arm and a leg" he began to ramble now, wondering to himself why he was digging up her yard..

"sprinklers?" Natalie let out a small laugh, shaking her head, he was unreal.."Your kidding, right?"

"well I cant guarantee that they will work when I am done with them, you really should of invested in a handy man" he laughed some and so did she as she looked over her yard again then back at him..

"John you didn't have to do that" Natalie shook her head…

"I did it for the flowers" he grinned and she laughed…

"for the flowers?" she laughed some more..

"Yeah, its kind of a issue I have, gotta save the flowers" he grinned as he turned bright red…

"cop by night, flower saver by day" she put her hand to her head.."You want some coffee"

"That would be great" John said with relief.."Your neighbor keeps offering me drinks" he glanced at the older woman now standing in her yard, not even trying to pretend not to be nosey.."but I think she will try and drug me" he whispered and Natalie let out a loud laugh, followed by a snort as the neighbor shot her a nasty look..

"great, she is probably going to egg my house" Natalie moved into the house, John following…"I think you have a fan"

"That scares me" John laughed …"Im gonna clean up" john moved towards the bathroom as Natalie went into the kitchen and as soon as he was out of sight she quickly tried to fix her hair, and wipe her eyes, she must of looked like hell, she contemplated running to her room and getting dressed but that would be weird, John was her friend, they hung out numerous times with her looking like hell, and why should she care anyways…

John looked at his phone as he cleaned up in the bathroom, missed calls, he groaned and shoved the phone back in his pocket as he headed into the kitchen were Natalie was with two big cups of coffee..

He quickly took a sip, trying to divert his eyes from her, he was finding himself wanting to see her more and more, he tried to convince himself that it was to make sure she was ok, that's what Cris would of wanted but he even knew that wasn't true, but damn he was ten years older then her and Cris's , his best friends girl, very wrong, so wrong..

"the place is looking really good" he began to make small talk, suddenly feeling very uncomfortable..

"Yeah it is" Natalie looked everywhere but at him…

They had been spending an awful lot of time together, John was always offering up his help and she knew why, he was looking out for her cause Cris couldn't, and she appreciated that, plus he was so much fun to hang out with but was she enjoying his company too much?

Uncomfortable silence fell as they drank their coffee, that was until a door was heard being opened and a familiar voice rang out…

"I come bringing coffee and donuts, I know its been awhile" Marty's voice rang out.."and what happened to your yard" she began as she entered the kitchen and stopped in her tracks as she glanced at John then Natalie.

"Marty" Natalie jumped up nervously and quickly gave her friend a hug but Marty just eyed John the entire time….

Present Time…

Natalie sat behind her desk thumbing through files, it had been six months since Cris passed and not only was there a huge strain on her friendship with Marty since the day of the Sprinklers a month ago but John was being distant, even cold at times, it really sucked, she didn't know what had happened but she had an idea, and she didn't blame Marty, hell she would be mad too if another girl was taking up all her boyfriends time even if that was a girl she knew and trusted but John didn't come around anymore and frankly she missed him, more then she knew she should.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter Four

John sat behind his desk trying desperately to concentrate on work but to no avail, all he kept replaying was the conversation him and Marty had a month ago, a conversation that changed everything..

_"Im not going to sit her and fight with you over every little thing" John yelled as he began grabbing his clothes in a fit as he moved around Marty's apartment.._

_"If you would just listen to me john, just once" she began to yell with tears and for the first time he didn't stop and console her, he continued to grab his things._

_They had been fighting non stop since he fixed Natalie's sprinklers and now he was done, it was over, he couldn't take anymore, he had made up his mind.._

_"Listen to you? Listen? All you do is yell, im not your little bitch!" John spatted out angrily, taking Marty by surprise as she stood there, covering her mouth as she began to cry hysterically…_

_"You….cant….do….this…..john" she sobbed loudly as he grabbed his things …_

_"I cant do this anymore" he finally said as he got to the bedroom door, clothes in hand.._

_"Im pregnant, you bastard" she yelled as she covered her face and cried.._

_John stood frozen in time, he must of heard her wrong, a look of confusion covered his face as he couldn't move.._

_"what?" was all he could muster as she kept her face covered.._

_"I was trying to find….to find the time to tell you…and….and" she sobbed uncontrollably now and he felt his heart race…_

John ran his hand through his hair as he sat at his desk, that was almost a month ago that she gave him the news and he was still as shocked now as he was then, pregnant, she was pregnant, he was going to be a dad?

_"I don't understand how this happened" his words rolled out and she finally looked at him…_

_"oh great, this is just great" she cried some more and he finally moved towards her, this was unreal…_

_"Are you,…..are you sure" he could barely get the words out as she looked at him with tears.._

_"Positive" she cried and he slumped next to her on the bed in shock.._

John rubbed his tired face, he wasn't getting any sleep these days, the reality of what was happening to him was insane.. He wasn't ready to be a dad, he could barely take care of himself at 36 years old, and now Marty, his world was crashing around him, for most men it would be welcoming news but for John it was a nightmare…

So he never left, he promised to stand by her, he had to right?, this was going to be his child, she was pregnant with his child and he couldn't even tell anyone, he couldn't talk to anyone about it, Marty promised him to keep things quiet for now so she could figure out how they could tell everyone, she seemed to be happy as can be now, his feelings were apparently irrelevant..

So he began to do the right thing, the grown up thing which also meant staying away from the one person he wanted to talk to so bad, Natalie..

Natalie glanced at the file before her but she couldn't even concentrate, John was acting weird, she felt uncomfortable and she had no idea what was going on. Apparently him and Marty were moving full steam ahead, not that she even talked to Marty these days, maybe a quick hello in the hall, if that and she should be happy, Marty and John were together, they had been together, then why did she feel so bad because of John's behavior..

_Natalie stood at the coffee pot in the break room, watching as it brewed, the smell of Johns cologne caught her attention and she smiled as she turned to face him, wanting to let him know how well the sprinklers worked and how wonderful her garden was growing.._

_"Hey John, so I wanted to say thanks again for everything you did" she began but immediately she noticed a difference in him, first his appearance which said he wasn't sleeping, possibly drinking all night and then his stance, stiff like a board, he looked like he wanted to run, but why?_

_"Your welcome" his voice seemed cold, agitated as he grabbed a cup of coffee.._

_"so…..you doing ok, I mean you kind of look like shit" she tried to make things light but it only got her an even harsher look.._

_"Yeah thanks" he spun around and confusion hit her as she stood there.._

_"John?" she called out and he kept walking…_

_"Im busy Natalie" he snapped as he walked out…_

Natalie sighed deep as she sat in the chair, it was no use, her fun times were over, she was alone again and that made her sad, life was unfair, her and John had so many fun times together, he was her friend and now she felt like she lost him…

Sadness quickly turned to anger as she sat there, why couldn't they be friends anymore, had she done something wrong? The thought drove her crazy and she had to find out why, so she quickly got up and headed out of her office..

John looked wide eyed at the pregnancy books and a small pair of blue booties sitting on his desk as Marty beamed..

"Ok so the booties may be much but I just have a feeling it's a boy" she smiled big and John stared at the items, how could she be so happy, he was in no shape ready to be a dad…

"are you…am i….." he picked up the book then looked at her…"you want me to read this" he said with confusion, how the hell did all of this happen, one minute they were breaking up, the next his desk was covered in baby things..

"No silly…I know you wont read it John" Marty rolled her eyes playfully…"I just thought maybe you would want to prepare yourself for next week"

"Huh" he felt like he couldn't even talk, where was the scotch when you needed it…

"You forgot, didn't you" Marty sighed loud.."The doctors appointment,…John you promised"

"Oh….yeah" he put the book down and rubbed his face….

Natalie stood outside John's office, her heart racing, they were friends, that was all, good friends, she could do this, she could, with one more deep breath she knocked on his door but it opened slightly and she pushed it open some more only to stop as she saw Marty spinning around as John sat at his desk…

"Nat! its been so long" Marty seemed oddly bouncy and happy as she practically ran over to Natalie, hugging her tight…

"Hey?" Natalie spoke, trying not to act shocked but she was and the look on Johns face spoke volumes as he looked away…

"God ive been wanting to get in touch with you but ive been so busy" Marty smiled as she pulled back from Natalie…

"Yeah me too" Natalie lied as she glanced at John and her eyes drifted down to the items on his desk, mainly the baby booties and apparently Marty noticed too as she spun around…"Ohhhhh, we can tell her John, right, lets tell her"

Natalie already knew that whatever they needed to tell her, she didn't want to hear, she wanted to run, why all the items on the desk, the books, the booties, her eyes grew wide..

John couldn't even speak as Marty smiled big…"Oh fine, I will tell her,…..Natalie…. John and I,….me and John, were…..were having a baby" she nearly squealed with excitement as Natalie felt her chest tighten..

"Oh…wow" Natalie finally managed to say, apparently everything made sense now, the way John was behaving, the tension, he was having a baby, John was having a baby with Marty, the thought made her sick and riddled with guilt all at the same time.

Two days had passed since the Surprise were pregnant talk, that day was unbelievably uncomfortable and awkward, the only thing Natalie could think about was running out of the room screaming.

Its not like she thought anything would happen between her and John, they were friends, he helped her cope during a horrific time, so they grew close and had spent a lot of time together, that's what friends do but he was going to be a dad..

Natalie sat back at the bar sucking back another beer…

"Hey there Red" a voice said from behind her as a hand touched her shoulder and she sighed deep…

"Hands off buddy" she gritted her teeth, now was not the time for some drunken idiot to hit on her, she was way too angry and had way too many beers in her…

"Bitch" the voice said and she lost it as she spun around, staring at the drunken stranger before her..

"Excuse me, im a bitch? IM A BITCH, why? Cause you're a strange drunken asshole who put his hands on me!" she yelled as she jumped off the bar stool…

"Nat its not worth it" one of the bartenders Bill said as he began to walk over.."buddy im gonna have to ask you to leave"

"leave? Why cause of this bitch" the guy began to yell as Natalie balled up her fist and took all of her angry she had built up and slammed him right in the face …

"You piece of shit, fuck you, asshole!" Natalie screamed as her body was lifted off the ground from behind as the drunken guy grabbed his bloodied nose…"let go of me, let me down!" Natalie yelled frantically as she kicked and wailed her arms…

"Natalie, calm down" a familiar voice called against her face and it was then that she noticed that the man holding her was none other then John McBain..

John had made his way into Rodi's just in time to see Natalie taking a leap, fists balled as she punch some guy right in the nose, and he didn't even have time to think as he grabbed her quick, pulling her from doing any more harm…

"Let go of me" she yelled again as John began to drag her across the bar as Bill threw the drunken man outside as he yelled obscenities.."John I mean it"

"Ok ok, just calm down ok…the guy is gone" John began and the adrenaline running through Natalies body as well as the alcohol had an instant effect on her cause John let go of her and she began to cry.."are you hurt" John began to panic, maybe she was hurt, maybe he came in before he saw the whole thing..

"Im fine….god" Natalie turned her back from John and she quickly wiped her eyes, she was not about to breakdown in front of him, not like this..

"did he hurt you" John began and Natalie let out a sarcastic laugh as she finished wiping her eyes and finally turned to face John, she wanted to scream that John had hurt her, not that idiot..

"No…..he was just an idiot, that's all" she began to make her way back to the bar, as much as she had been hoping for days to see John, to talk to him, now that he was there all she wanted to do was run away..


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter Five

Previously in Pieces...

Natalie sat back at the bar sucking back another beer…

"Hey there Red" a voice said from behind her as a hand touched her shoulder and she sighed deep…

"Hands off buddy" she gritted her teeth, now was not the time for some drunken idiot to hit on her, she was way too angry and had way too many beers in her…

"Bitch" the voice said and she lost it as she spun around, staring at the drunken stranger before her..

"Excuse me, im a bitch? IM A BITCH, why? Cause you're a strange drunken asshole who put his hands on me!" she yelled as she jumped off the bar stool…

"Nat its not worth it" one of the bartenders Bill said as he began to walk over.."buddy im gonna have to ask you to leave"

"leave? Why cause of this bitch" the guy began to yell as Natalie balled up her fist and took all of her angry she had built up and slammed him right in the face …

"You piece of shit, fuck you, asshole!" Natalie screamed as her body was lifted off the ground from behind as the drunken guy grabbed his bloodied nose…"let go of me, let me down!" Natalie yelled frantically as she kicked and wailed her arms…

"Natalie, calm down" a familiar voice called against her face and it was then that she noticed that the man holding her was none other then John McBain..

John had made his way into Rodi's just in time to see Natalie taking a leap, fists balled as she punch some guy right in the nose, and he didn't even have time to think as he grabbed her quick, pulling her from doing any more harm…

"Let go of me" she yelled again as John began to drag her across the bar as Bill threw the drunken man outside as he yelled obscenities.."John I mean it"

"Ok ok, just calm down ok…the guy is gone" John began and the adrenaline running through Natalies body as well as the alcohol had an instant effect on her cause John let go of her and she began to cry.."are you hurt" John began to panic, maybe she was hurt, maybe he came in before he saw the whole thing..

"Im fine….god" Natalie turned her back from John and she quickly wiped her eyes, she was not about to breakdown in front of him, not like this..

"did he hurt you" John began and Natalie let out a sarcastic laugh as she finished wiping her eyes and finally turned to face John, she wanted to scream that John had hurt her, not that idiot..

"No…..he was just an idiot, that's all" she began to make her way back to the bar, as much as she had been hoping for days to see John, to talk to him, now that he was there all she wanted to do was run away..

Walking to the bar Natalie just wanted to get away from him, why was he there anyway, it may be a bar but why now, why when she was feeling so down, she was angry..

"Natalie, wait up" John called out, he had never seen her like this, well maybe right after Cris passed but he was worried for her, she apparently had too much to drink, she seemed off kilter.

Natalie ignored his voice as she ordered herself another drink, maybe he would just go away but he only came over to her as she took a swig of her beer...

"I said I was fine" she groaned as he stood next to her...

"You don't look fine,... let me get you home" John began and that was it as Natalie let out a loud laugh and finally looked at him..

"do I look like a child to you, no im not leaving, why don't you go home , John" she snapped..."hey can I get something stronger over here, or what" she called out to the bartender..

"Do you really think that's a good idea" John said with concern as the bartender brought her over a shot and she slammed it back..

"John, I really think you should leave" Natalie said in a warning tone as she grabbed her beer and jumped off the stool, about to walk away until John grabbed her upper arm and spun her around, she had a look of rage in her bloodshot eyes.."Let go of my arm" she spoke between gritted teeth..

"what the hell is going on Natalie" John said as he kept his grip on her arm and she looked down at his hand on her then back up at him, but he wasn't going to let go until he got to the bottom of this, she was out of control..

"You really wanna do this John, really" she moved her body so close to his that her chest was basically pressed against him, the move kind of shocked him as he let go of her arm and she rolled her eyes...

"why don't we talk" he said low and she smiled big...

"Oh lets not start talking now" she laughed drunkenly..

"Your worrying me" John backed up some and took in the sight of her again..

"well im not your responsibility am I now, im a big girl and im just having a few drinks" she spun from him and he stood there for a second then followed her around the bar..

Natalie could feel him following her and she ignored it as she made her way onto where music was playing and people were dancing, so she joined them, beer still in hand..

Once guy came over to her, a big smile on his face as he began dancing with her and John watched, he was pissed, she was going to get herself in trouble and he be damned if he was going to just stand around and watch, so without thinking he walked right up to her dancing and pulled her roughly by the arm..

"Hey buddy" the guy yelled and John shot him a look..

"This isn't about you kid,...just back off" John said with anger...

"Jesus John, im just dancing!" Natalie yelled as she tried to yank her arm back..

"The lady says she wants to dance" the drunk guy yelled out but John didn't care he dragged her from the floor as she yelled obscenities at him..

Another patron apparently saw the drunken guy looking to get involved and stopped him, everyone at the bar knew John, and luckily for the man he listened to the advice from others as John pulled Natalie outside..

"damn it John, what the hell are you doing" Natalie yelled as John spun her around, making her beer fly out of her hand and smash on the ground.."Oh that's just great" Natalie finally found the strength to yank her arm back..

"You are out of control Nat, what the hell are you thinking, what the hell would Cris" he began and immediately regretted his choice of words by the look on her face..

"Don't you dare" Natalie snapped angrily.."who do you think you are, your not my father"

"I thought I was your friend" John yelled back and she laughed loudly...

"a friend huh... a friend john, you don't even talk to me anymore" Natalie looked at him angrily and spun around, she had to get out of there..

" what do you want me to do Natalie, huh, what do you want from me!" John yelled and Natalie stopped walking and spun around to face him...

"what do I want! You don't even acknowledge me anymore, you don't talk to me, you just stopped!" she yelled with tears filling up in her eyes..

"Its complicated" was all he could say as he looked at her..

"Fuck you John" tears began to roll down her face as she attempted to run but the alcohol in her system made it difficult and John was grabbing on her arm again , spinning her around, and before she knew it his lips were pressing against hers in an aggressive kiss as his tongue forced its way inside her mouth..

The kiss took both of them off guard and after a few short seconds, they pulled away breathless, John didn't know what to say as he looked at her but the feeling of her hand slamming against the side of his face stunned him..

John stood there, both of them stood there, hearts racing as a taxi pulled up..

"did someone call a taxi" the man yelled out and Natalie took the opportunity to run towards it, she had to get out of there and now but this time John didn't chase after her, he just stood there dumbfounded, holding his cheek as she hopped in the taxi and took off...

John took off as well, he headed back to his own apartment, now was definitely not the time to see Marty, he needed to be alone, he needed to figure out what the hell had happened but when he got to his apartment and went inside he froze at the man standing by the desk in the lobby..

"Oh will you look at that, speak of the devil, there he is" his landlord called out and a young man turned to face him..

"John, holy shit" the guy said as he came over quickly, hugging him..

"Mikey, what the hell are you doing here" John said with shock as he hugged him back...

"cant one brother come visit another" Michael smiled as they both pulled back and looked at one another , it had been years, so many years since John had seen his little brother Michael..

"Its been so long, how did you know?" John began as Michael smiled..

"Well I knew you were in Lanview so I just looked for the shittiest apartments" Michael laughed then looked at the woman behind the desk with embarrassment..

"don't worry bout it, it is pretty shitty" she laughed..

"Well come on, we have a lot to catch up on" John said as the two of them headed to his apartment..

Natalie made it home and passed out almost immediately, she hoped tomorrow wouldn't come to bite her in the ass..

Michael and John spent the majority of the night talking and catching up, it was like old times., John had missed this, when he had joined the police academy almost ten years ago, him and Michael had drifted apart, John at the time was 26, Michael a mere 20 and going to medical school. They had kept in touch over the years and even ran into one another ever once in a while but ultimately they lived different lives..

" so my brother is a real doctor, it still kind of freaks me out" John laughed as they sipped back beers, Michael still looked the same just a bit older now, same brown mop of hair, blue eyes, a stocky like build, that was his brother..

"thank god too cause I will be paying off student loans till I die" Michael smiled.."It really is good to see you John"

"Yeah it is, and now that you will be working over at the Lanview hospital I guess I will be seeing you more" he still couldn't believe his brother was offered a job at the hospital, part of him believed it was more Michael's doing, cause even though John was the older brother, Michael always seemed to be there to look after John, almost like role reversal.."You know if you need somewhere to stay"

"not that I don't appreciate it John but you seem to have your plate full, I still cant believe your going to be a dad" Michael shook his head as if in shock that he never thought this day would come..

"Yeah, weird huh" John took a huge swig, shaking his head..

"I mean the circumstances aren't really the best but you'll figure it out" Michael really did have faith in his brother, John just wished he had that much faith in himself..

He had told Michael everything, well almost everything, starting with Cris, then onto Marty, avoiding the subject of Natalie all together, he didn't want to overwhelm him plus John was still confused about everything, and his mind kept going back to that kiss, yes it was spontaneous, yes he did it out of anger and fear but he had kissed Natalie and that weighed heavy on him..

"I really want to meet this woman" Michael laughed..."I cant see anyone wanting to settle down with you"

"wait wait wait, no one said anything about settling down, I just said I was going to be a dad, im still trying to figure this out" John said nervously...

"Your doing the right thing, no one is perfect John, everyone has problems, I think this could be good" Michael was always the optimistic one..

"yeah well, its not really how I saw my life going" John thought back to the kiss with Natalie again..

"your not getting any younger bro, its time for you to just let go and settle down" Michael said with a yawn...

"Its late, why don't you just crash on my couch tonight, we can check out some places for you tomorrow" John knew sleep wouldn't come for him but he really didn't want to have any more conversations about his impeding fatherhood..

"sounds good, a tour of Lanview would be nice" Michael began as John got up..

"I can show you the bar" John smiled and Michael shook his head..

"Night bro" Michael grinned as he laid down..

"Night" John said as he walked into his room and laid in bed, hoping the images of kissing Natalie would leave his mind..


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter Six

The next day at work Natalie had a splitting headache, she contemplated not even coming in especially since she had only bits and pieces of the night before but one thing that stood out in her mind was John, he kissed her, like really kissed her and she slapped him, hard too, it was the only thing she could think of at the moment but her heart began to race as she thought of it, now things would be even more awkward between the two of them and she hated that.

John sat at his desk, Michael across of him in another chair as they talked...

"see I could never just sit behind a desk all day" Michael began as John laughed..

"I don't sit behind a desk all day" he shook his head, he was going to be taking the rest of the day off to help Michael but before they began he had a few things to take care of, oh hell who was he kidding, he wanted to see if Natalie was showing up today..

"so what are we waiting for, im anxious to check out this town of yours, plus I really do need to get into a place, I don't know how much longer I can last on your couch"

"I just have to do a few things" John thumbed through some files but his eyes were on the large window in his office that was facing the break room, and when a flash of red caught his eye, he began to sweat..

"wow, on second thought" Michael began as his eyes too caught the red beauty.."who's that?"

"No one, just an employee" John began nervously.."ready to go?" John stood quickly..

"woo woo, hold up... now that is not just any employee" Michael was getting up too as he eyes Natalie at the coffee pot.."she is gorgeous"

"Yeah ok...ready?" John just wanted to get out of there now, she came into work, now he could leave..

"For real, your not going to introduce your little brother, im hurt" Michael kept staring at Natalie and John sighed, rolling his eyes..

"We have a lot of things to do" John tried to avoid the subject..

"Uh huh and that can wait" Michael was out of the office before John could stop him..

Natalie filled her cup up with coffee and began pouring the creamer as she felt eyes on her and she glanced up, expecting to see John but it was someone else, oddly he kind of looked like John and she stared for a second, was she seeing things?

John stopped as Natalie and Michael stared at one another and he cleared his throat quickly as Natalie diverted her attention to John who was walking up on this strange man, who seemed to be nudging John, Natalie looked away quick..

Natalie had wondered if John remembered last night, would he bring it up, she didn't want to find out so she spun around..

"Natalie" John called out as Michael damn near bruised his ribs, he would introduce them, whatever, then they would go..

Natalie froze for a second, she seriously didn't want to do this in the middle of the prescient, she was embarrassed as it was but she stopped and slowly spun around..

"Hi, Im Michael...John's brother" Michael finally went for it himself as he shoved his hand out towards Natalie and she looked at it then at the priceless expression on John's face..

"Michael...i thought I saw a resemblance" she began as she shook his hand and completely ignored John.."Im Natalie, on vacation?" she decided to make small talk as John stood there uncomfortably with his hands shoved in his pockets..

"actually a new resident, im gonna be working over at the hospital" Michael began with a wide smile, Natalie was impressed, one brother a cop, the other a doctor, but oddly John never mentioned he had a brother, why?

"Oh didn't know John had any siblings" Natalie began as John shook his head..

"and your definitely not just an employee" Michael rolled his eyes at John who looked like he wanted to die..

"Huh?" Natalie said with confusion...

"Nothing" Michael grinned.."It was nice meeting you Natalie, maybe see you around sometime"

"oooook" Natalie said with more confusion as the two men walked away from her, that was weird..

"so how long you two been sleeping together" Michael began as they headed down the hall and John nearly choked on his own spit..

"what? No" John said defensively towards his brother, Michael was out of his mind.."Can you keep your voice down"

"Ok, so when did you and the red headed goddess start sleeping together, that's definitely not baby mama" Michael whispered obnoxiously and John rolled his eyes as they got outside and he quickly looked around to make sure no one was looking at them..

"we are not having sex or sleeping in any kind of matter together" John said quickly..

"Oh but you want to, damn bro, why didn't you just tell me, got my hopes up and everything" Michael pouted some and John shook his head..

"She's just a friend" John got to his car..

"Uh huh...friend...sure" Michael grinned as they got in and drove off..

John tried to avoid the subject of Natalie all day as he drove his brother around but Michael was making it hard as he kept bringing the subject up every chance that he got..

They made their way into Rodi's, John definitely needed a drink now..

"I just want to know how this all happened" Michael continued as John froze in his steps and Michaels eyes followed, baby mama at 12 o'clock, if John could run he would, Marty didn't look happy and he knew why, he avoided her calls yet again..

"I was looking for you" Marty said as she came over and looked at John then Michael..

"Hey, you must be Marty, im Michael, Johns brother, I just got in town" Michael said quickly as he shook her hand and Marty's demeanor seemed to calm a little bit, that would explain him not calling her..

"Oh, a brother" Marty said with a raised eyebrow and Michael couldn't help but laugh as John became flustered..

"Yeah, he hides me from everyone" Michael grinned and elbowed John..

"sounds like a John kind of thing" Marty smiled then looked at John.."You didn't forget about today, right?"

John looked at her with wide eyes, his mind going blank and she looked to Michael..

"was your brother always like this" she laughed some and Michael smirked..

"yep, never changed..." Michael smiled..

"The first doctors appointment" Marty said quickly..

"Oh yeah..." John looked to Michael then to Marty..

""You go, im sure I can find something to do around here" Michael said quickly

"Thank you Michael" Marty began as John fidgeted...

"I will pick you up when im done" John said to Michael, he so wasn't looking forward to this doctor visit..

"No worries, I'll be fine, you kids have fun" Michael smirked as he walked off and John reluctantly went off with Marty..

Natalie had problems concentrating at work, things just seemed to get more and more complicated.. John was gonna be a dad, he would have to make things work with Marty, why wouldn't he, she had seen enough in her life to know that the majority of the time a baby brought couples together, but it didn't mean she had to like it, her and John would never work out anyway, he was just her support after Cris passed, that was all, maybe they started hanging out to much, maybe this was for the best..

She finished up her work for the day and headed out, she would grab a quick burger from Rodi's and then head home to veg on the couch, she couldn't get in trouble there..

Meanwhile...

John sat in the doctors office, his eyes wide as neither him or Marty spoke..

"I just don't understand how this happened Doc, I took the pregnancy test, ive been having morning sickness for god sake" Marty said a bit frantically, and John still couldn't believe what he was hearing..

"Ms. Saybrook some ovarian cysts can trick the body into feeling pregnant, im sorry but we really do need to remove it" the doctor continued and John just sat there speechless, she wasn't pregnant, he wasn't going to be a dad..

"I cant believe this" Marty covered her face as she began to cry..."you happy now John"

"I think I will leave you two alone, please make an appointment with my secretary" the doctor said as he walked out and John swallowed hard..

"This is what you wanted anyway, im not pregnant" Marty cried as the reality of the situation hit her..

"I didn't say that" John began, trying to comfort her as he put his hand on her shoulder and she jerked her body away from him..

"I wanted this baby...a baby... it didn't change anything" Marty wept..

"the doctor said you can still have kids" John tried to think of something to say and she looked at him..

"You just don't get it do you" Marty stood quickly.."I wanted you, I loved you"

"Dont do this" John said low, he knew she was upset, now wasn't the time for this conversation..

"Just go away John, you got the perfect opportunity to just leave, so do it...ok..., theres the door, im not stopping you" she pointed at the door as he stood there..

Natalie walked into Rodi's her mind on taking a bite of that burger, watching some good tv and not thinking of John, but as she got inside she noticed someone, the brother sitting at the bar and she quickly scanned the place for John..

Michael drank his beer at the bar, his eyes got diverted to the door where the red headed goddess came walking in, her eyes glancing at him then darting around the bar and he laughed some as he waved her over..

"He's not here" he called out with a laugh and Natalie felt herself turn red with embarrassment..."He had running around to do"

"Im sorry , what?" Natalie tried to act nonchalant as she walked over...

"My brother, John..." Michael smirked..."come have a seat, I'll buy you a beer, I would love to have a chat with the woman who has turned my brother into a babbling fool" Michael laughed and Natalie laughed nervously as she turned even redder..

"I don't know what your talking about" she laughed nervously..

"Not you too" Michael shook his head as he handed her a beer.."we have a lot to talk about"

John stared at Marty as she pointed at the door...

"Go John...just go, I know you want to just run right now" she cried..

"Marty its not like that, it's just" he stood there, the least he could do was give her an explanation..

"I already know John, ok...ive known for months, you stayed because of the baby" she wiped her eyes..

"I just don't know what to say" John began and she shook her head as she cried..

"Just say the truth, for once tell me the damn truth,...Your in love with Natalie" Marty cried and Johns eyes got wide as he looked at her, no words would leave his mouth.."Fine don't say anything, just stand there like always, but your making a big mistake with her, and don't say I didn't warn you" Marty finished as she ran out crying, slamming the door as John stood there shocked..

Natalie drank back a few beers with Michael, he was actually pretty cool and once he stopped interrogating her about John it was even more pleasant.. He was a lot different then his brother, more open and talkative, he went on about him and John's childhood, to the death of their father, old girlfriends, she practically heard his whole life story as they sat there..

Natalie began to laugh some as Michael talked...

"what?" Michael sipped his beer, he could definitely see why John was crazy about this girl even if he didn't want to admit it to anyone, including himself..

"Your just so different then John, its weird to think your brothers" Natalie sipped on her beer..

"I know I think the same thing all the time, speak of the devil" Michael began as his eyes diverted to the door and Natalie's did to as John came walking in, a strange look in his eyes as he stopped for a second and looked at them and then came walking over with purpose in his eyes..

John had thought long and hard about his life on the car ride to Rodi's and walking into Rodi's and seeing her sitting there he knew just what he had to do, so he walked and fast over to where she sat, looking confused as hell..

"we were just talking about you Bro" Michael began as John came up to them..

"I'll hear about it in a second,...right now...oh what the hell" John said loud as his hand wrapped around Natalie and he lifted her up from the bar stool, taking her by surprise as he kissed her more passionately then she had ever felt in her life, so much so her legs grew week and her heart beat so fast she thought she would surely die, John was kissing her, but not just kissing her, his entire body was communicating with hers!

The kiss was unlike anything Natalie had ever experienced in her life, it was as if the whole world was going in slow motion, as if nothing else mattered, he was kissing her, savoring every moment, taking his time to memorize her mouth, lips, his hands holding her tight against his body as he kissed her fiercely..

The sound of Michael laughing some in the background made them pull back, breathless, their eyes still stuck on one another, both shocked..

"well don't stop on my behalf" Michael laughed and the reality of what they had just done hit them as John looked around at the shocked faces of the patrons then back at Natalie who was just as shocked as everyone else..

"Hold that thought" John said to Michael and quickly he grabbed an unsuspecting Natalie's hand, dragging her outside..

She was still breathless, light headed, but most of all confused.."John?" was all she could get out as they stood outside in the parking lot and she looked at him, and he smiled, John actually smiled and she did too...

"I love you" he said with a gulp and she thought she heard him wrong.."I don't know about anything, I don't know what im doing but I know I love you Natalie" he couldn't believe he said it, it shocked him but he had to , it had been eating at him for months and this was his chance, it could be his only chance, he had to put it out there, regardless of how she would respond, he waited for a smack in the face, he braced for it but it never came but she turned around, her back now facing him, ok he wasn't expecting that..

Natalie needed a moment, just a quick moment to collect herself, she felt like she could faint, did she hear him , right?

"I shouldn't of...god that was so stupid" John began to pace as his nerves got the best of him..

"No...no I don't mean ,... its not that" Natalie began to ramble as John stopped and looked at her, the tears in her eyes.."I just...i wasn't expecting that"

"I just,...its just... I wasn't expecting to make you cry.." John ran a hand through his hair and Natalie shook her head and wiped her eyes..

"Happy tears" she smiled as she wiped her eyes again and a slight smile formed on his lips..."I love …..i love you" she said with tears and as quick as that John was up against her again, his lips on hers, in a softer kiss this time as one hand went behind her head the other wrapped around her waist..

"Man! Your brother comes into town, who you haven't seen in years and all you can think about is making out with this outstanding and beautiful woman, Oh hell I would do the same" Michael called out and John and Natalie both pulled back, embarrassment on their faces..

"Im sorry Mikey, I just" John began as Michael laughed...

"No worries bro, I was actually going to head out, I have a few places to look at" Michael moved past them..

"Oh crap..." John remembered he was suppose to be helping Michael..

"Dont worry, called a cab, and it looks like you have enough on your plate at the moment but I expect a recap" Michael grinned as a cab pulled up..."take care of my brother Natalie"

Natalie couldn't answer, she was embarrassed, and well now that she was standing there after kissing John yet again and his declaration, she had a lot of questions, a lot of them, what about Marty, the baby, what about everything?

"Call you later" john called out as his brother got in the cab and drove off, then he looked to Natalie who had confusion written all over her face but she loved him, she said it, and he would figure the rest out..

"I think we should talk" Natalie finally spoke and John rubbed his face..

"Yeah... I think now would be a time to talk" he smiled some and put his hand out towards hers and she took it..."Wanna walk?"

"I would love to" she said with a sigh of relief as they began to walk..

They walked hand and hand for awhile without saying anything and when they came up to the park Natalie finally stopped, she had so many questions that she needed answers for, John knew by the look on her face that it was time for him to explain himself, so he began before she could..

"Me and Marty are done" he said quickly..."its not like there was much there anyway"

"but the baby" Natalie said quickly and John shook his head and began to look around..."I know that things weren't going well but your going to be a"

"Im not Natalie, im not gonna be a dad" he stopped her before she could continue and she looked at him with confusion.."I know its confusing, I went with Marty today for her first doctors appointment, it turns out she wasn't pregnant after all, she had some kind of cyst, something like that, it gave her the symptoms of being pregnant" Natalie looked at him with relief..

"Im sorry...that was rude" she said quickly, knowing he could read her face but he reached up and touched her face, so softly with his hand, brushing a piece of her hair back and she couldn't help but melt a little at his touch..

"Im not upset about it, it wasn't meant to happen, it wasn't right" he said low as he moved closer to her.."Not like this, not like how I have felt about you for all these months"

Natalie felt like the world was spinning around her as she listened to his words, she didn't know what to say, it felt like a dream, a beautiful dream..

"I don't want to waste anymore time, life is too short for that" John thought about Cris and how his life was taken away so quickly and how he wanted to make every minute count, and he wanted those minutes spent with her..

Natalie couldn't help the tears welling up in her eyes and now streaming down her face as she looked at John and listened to his words..

"I want to be with you Natalie, I want to be with you more then anything" he wiped the tears from her face as she smiled..

"John" she said through tears as she wrapped her arms around his neck tightly and held on for dear life, this is what she wanted more then anything too, to be in John's arms..

After a long long hug they finally pulled back and looked into each others eyes, this just felt right, they smiled and as their lips got closer John's phone went off..

"Hold that thought" John smiled as he answered his phone "McBain"

Natalie watched him as he talked on the phone, this seemed unreal, she was with John but not just with John but really with John, what she had been fighting for months, what she had wanted for what seemed like so long now was coming true and she was so scared something was going to take that from her..

"Ok..ok...I'll be right there" John hung up his phone, annoyed that work always seemed to get in the way at the wrong time.."Im sorry"

"Its ok, you have to go" Natalie understood all too well, she didn't like it but she understood..

"I shouldn't be long, can I bring dinner to your place tonight?" he knew he had to see her more, definitely more today or tonight, he didn't care.."it will be Chinese" he grinned big..

"Of course, you don't have to say anything else" she smiled and he sighed deep, touching her face softly...

"Its been a good day Natalie" he said with a heavy breath...

"More then you know" she smiled..


	7. Chapter 7 HEAVY SMUT WARNING

Chapter Seven

Natalie felt like a nervous wreck at home as she tried on every outfit she owned only to end up in the same thing she was wearing originally, why was she so nervous she kept thinking to herself, it wasnt like a first date, her and John had hung out many times before but never before kissing, or proclaiming their love for one another, what exactly did it all mean, she had no idea but she was nervous as hell to find out..

She grabbed a beer from the fridge, something to calm the nerves as she looked at her watch every ten minutes, wondering when he would show...

John rushed around his apartment, he must of changed his shirt a hundred times and fixed her hair twenty, his heart raced, his brow sweat and he felt nervous as hell, he had hung out with Natalie numerous times and numerous times he had thought about what it would be like to kiss her but nothing was like the real thing, but now he was nervous, what was she expecting, what was he suppose to do, where did they go from here?

Natalie finished her beer and began to pace, she put on some music and looked out the window relentlessly waiting to see his car pull up, it was almost 10 at night and frankly she wasnt hungry at all, she tried to calm herself with a deep breath as she headed for the kitchen again but this time a car light shining in the window made her freeze and the sound of a car door shutting made her heart race..

John stood at her door, he felt like a teenage boy, his hands were sweating, he had a million and one things running through his mind, like how exactly did he greet her now, with a kiss, a hug, a hand shake, he laughed to himself, this was ridiculous, it was just Natalie, he knew her, it would be fine and so he knocked..

Natalie began to head to the door but she stopped, she shouldn't answer it on the first knock, it would look like she was desperate, waiting for him, no, she should wait, and he knocked again, how many knocks do you wait for , she began to rack her mind with thoughts, 2 or 3, or maybe 4, she waited some more..

John knocked again, now he was sweating bad, was she not home, maybe sleeping, was he too late, he glanced at his watch, contemplating if he should knock again, maybe he would wake her, he didn't want that so he backed up from the door, confused as to what he should do..

The knocking stopped and Natalie began to panic, she reached for the door and stopped, maybe he had changed his mind, maybe he was leaving, maybe he was going to take it all back, she waited to hear his car start, she couldn't dare look out the window and get caught but it didn't start..

John stood in the driveway, looking around, maybe he could just glance in her bedroom window, see if she was really sleeping cause in all reality maybe she wasnt even home, her car was there though, he began to panic and he walked around the darkened house towards her bedroom..

Natalie stood confused in her living room, she hadn't heard the car pull away, maybe it wasnt John at all, maybe it was someone else, her heart began to race as she stood there but the sound of a crash and then a dog barking made her freak out, oh my god , someone was trying to break in, the clever criminal had smugly drove his car, she ran into the kitchen..

John grabbed his leg, he had tripped over a tree stump, note to self he would get rid of that soon and then he banged into the house causing the dog next door to go crazy and he tried to shush it but to no avail..

He made his way to Natalie's window, totally miscalculated the height, he couldn't even see inside and he groaned to himself, why hadn't she answered, then it hit him, maybe something bad happened, maybe she was in danger, or hurt, he heard a noise, it sounded like it was coming from inside and his worst fear came over him, she was being robbed!

Natalie tip toed around her kitchen, shutting off the lights as she held a large frying pan in her hand, whoever it was, messed with the wrong person, she had thought about calling the cops but that would only lead to John being worried and her being the laughing stock of the LPD, she could handle this, she was a tough chic..

John watched as lights got turned off methodically, that bastard was walking around her house, maybe heading to her room as she slept unsuspectingly, the thought made him irate as he crouched down and made his way into the back yard, that damn dog still barking but the back door was open a little, his heart began to race as he headed for it..

Natalie heard footsteps, he was getting closer, then she remembered the back door and her heart nearly stopped as she darted behind the couch..

John moved into her kitchen, a sound in the living room caught his attention and he crept that way, he was gonna catch the bastard off guard..

Natalie peeked around the couch, seeing a pair of shoes as her heart raced, she looked at the frying pan, she hoped it would hold up to the test, or atleast give her enough time to get out of there,she should of just called the cops cause fear was racing through her!

John made his way through the living room slowly then his eyes darted down the hall to her bedroom, he spun around that way..

Natalie waited for the perfect opportunity, the thieving bastard was turning his back, so she jumped up, yelling incoherent obscenities as she slammed the frying pan on his back and he dropped to his knees, and once more for good luck, she clocked him in the back of the head..

"Gotcha you bastard!" she yelled as a feeling of self empowerment coursed through her body and the perpetrator groaned..

John grabbed for his head as he laid on the ground, his mind was spinning and his head throbbing as he groaned out in pain, the muffled sounds of his attacker were not even legible as his ears rung but he had to save Natalie, that's all he knew, so he grabbed out and pulled on a pair of legs hard, as a body came crashing to the ground beside him..

Natalie yelped out as her legs were ripped out from under her and she landed with a thud on the ground, the room spinning as her head hit..

"Ok ok ok, I give in, don't hurt me" she said with fear as she covered her face and for the first time John saw his perpetrator but it wasnt just some random thug, it was Natalie..

"Oh my god, Natalie" he said quickly as he looked at her..

Natalie kept her eyes squeezed shut, this is so not how she wanted things to end, for a second she thought she heard Johns voice as she laid there, then she felt two hands on her shoulders as a body leaned over her and the only thing she could think of was kicking, and that's just what she did, landing him right in the balls..

John definitely wasnt expecting that, a kick to the balls, he fell instantly on his side, groaning in pain..

"PERVERT" Natalie yelled as she tried to get up..

"Na-na-Natalie" the voice called out as she tried to scramble to her feet but it didn't just sound like a random voice, it really did sound like John, she quickly turned on the lamp and there he was, laying on the ground, curled up in a ball, groaning her name..

"Oh my god,...John" she said with shock as she reached down for him and he groaned more.."Oh...sorry"

"No worries... just give me a sec" he got out in short deep breaths, he was sure he would be digging his balls out of his stomach later, the girl could kick..

"Oh my god...oh my god" Natalie began to pace the room as she looked at John, then laughter began to take over her, it was John all along, it was quite hilarious , actually...

"Im glad...you find this funny" John began to sit up but looking at Natalie he began to laugh too, even though laughing made the pain so much worse..

"I am so sorry" Natalie laughed as she grabbed his hand and helped him up as he looked down at the frying pan and Natalie turned red and shrugged her shoulders..

"Im late" John tried to stand up straight, wasnt really working out...

"Come sit...I'll get you a drink" Natalie said quickly as John found his way to the couch and carefully sat on it, wincing as he did...

Natalie came back in quickly with a beer in hand, giving it to him as he took a huge swig, damn near finishing off the whole thing..

"You look pretty" John smiled while in pain and Natalie blushed a bit..

"Thanks,...sorry, again" she laughed nervously as the door bell rang and then loud knocking was heard, and they both looked at the door quick.."what in the" Natalie began as she walked to the door and opened it only to find her fellow officers standing at the door..

"Natalie?" one officer said in surprise..

"we got a call about a disturbance and a prowler" another said as she opened the door more so they could see John..

"Just a bit of a misunderstanding" John said as he carefully stood up and the two officers began to laugh laugh hysterically.."yeah, very funny" John rolled his eyes, they would never let him live this down..

Natalie covered her face in embarrassment..

"I take it this is your dinner" one of the officers said as he reached down and grabbed a bag of Chinese food that had been mauled and John shook his head.."You uh, you might be able to salvage some Boss"

"get out of here...come on...go...were done here" John said quickly as he shut the door on the laughing officers..

"you know they aren't going to let you forget" Natalie sighed then she took in the sight of John again and began to laugh...

"You think this is really funny, don't you" John grinned some as Natalie laughed and he pulled her against him and then groaned..."ok, I need to recover some more"

"lets just sit,. I will get you another beer" Natalie said with a smile as John sat down again and she headed back into the kitchen..

After a few more beers the conversation was flowing more freely and the majority of the aches and pains were gone but the memory of that day would live on..

"I really am sorry about the food" John began as he put down his beer, she was the most beautiful woman he knew, both inside and out, and she blushed at the way he looked at her..

"no biggie, I wasnt really hungry anyway" she smiled nervously and finished her beer, oddly enough neither of them talked about what happened earlier, no mention of the declarations, or the kiss, they talked like old times and it was nice, no pressure on either side.." you want another" Natalie stood up and John reached for her hand..

"No, im good" the way he looked at her made her heart drop a bit as he took her hand and stood up in front of her.."You really are so beautiful" he said as he brushed a piece of hair behind her ear and she felt her body tingle from his touch, she blushed and tried to turn her face away but he stopped her.."don't... your amazing, you really are" now she was bright red..

"John" she said a bit shyly and then his lips were moving in towards hers but instead of kissing her lips they brushed against her cheek and towards her neck as she let out a gasp as his tongue traced the length of her neck up to her ear..

He had waited so long for this moment, to taste her sweetness, to feel her skin, his body reacted immediately as she purred with every lick to her skin, he had never felt this affected by a woman, his body was literally aching and throbbing for her touch, and he didn't have to wait long cause her hands went into the back of his hair, pulling his head back as she returned the favor, placing soft kisses up his neck..

He couldn't wait anymore, he had to feel her body against his, and his hands reached down, grabbing her ass tight as he pulled her up against him and she locked her legs around his waist tightly as his mouth began to devour hers in a frenzied kiss..

She could feel him, every bit of him pressing between her legs as his hands pushed against her ass harder, making her moan out into his mouth as he fell back on the couch and she straddled him, their mouths never leaving one another..

"Oh god I need you Natalie" he let out with a groan as their mouths parted and they stared into each others desired filled eyes and before Natalie knew it he was pushing her down on her back as he climbed on her body, his mouth back at her throat as his hands went to her tank top, cupping her breasts as he ground his aching body against her..

"Oh my god...John" she gasped as her neck arched, giving him just the view he needed as he quickly yanked her top up and over her breasts, his eyes feasting on them for a second before he tossed her shirt away..

"God your so beautiful" his mouth went to her breasts, licking and kissing every exposed inch that her blue silky bra wasnt covering..

She felt her body start to contract under him, he felt amazingly good, better then what she had imagined and she imagined a lot, his hands explored her body with care as if they were trying to memorize it, his tongue lapped against her roughly making her legs shake in anticipation..

"John...john" was all she could whimper as he reached back, unlatching her bra like a pro, it amazed her, then his tongue was against her nipples and if it wasnt for him putting his weight on her she was sure she would of jumped right off that couch as he sucked against her nipples hard, pulling and tugging on them with his mouth and tongue..

Her hands clawed where they could, mainly his back, the top of his ass as she desperately tried to yank on his shirt, needing to get it off of him, and he had the same idea cause he was ripping it off fast and throwing it aside as his hands quickly fumbled with her jeans as she fumbled with his, both of them yanking the zippers down in unison as he grinned big...

He pulled back from her and grabbed at her jeans and panties, and in one swift move he had them down her legs as he shoved his own jeans and boxers down and they gasped at the sight of one another..

Her pussy glistened in the light and it made his cock engorge more as he looked at her, bracing himself as Natalie took in his body, inch by inch, it made her swallow hard at the size of him, standing hard and proud but before she could think anymore his mouth was diving between her legs, and lucky for him he held her down or she would of hit the ceiling..

The yelps and moans that left her mouth made him throb even harder as he tasted her, diving his tongue deeper into her sweet center as her nails dug into his head, holding him there, he was driving her crazy, seriously she felt as though she would have to be carted away after this in a white coat..

John lapped at her skin, sucked against it and pushed his fingers into her core as he let out a primal grunt at the feeling of her pulsating against his finger and all he could think was how tight she was and how bad he wanted to be inside her, so bad that the excitement he was feeling was beginning to seep out of his swollen cock, he felt like he would explode right now..

He moved his way up her body, his tongue tracing her skin as she roughly pulled his mouth to hers, diving her tongue deep into his mouth, moaning against his lips as his cock began to press and slide against her wet and swollen lips..

"god your so wet" he said breathlessly as he pulled back, he wanted to watch her as he entered her for the first time, he wanted to watch himself disappear inside her, he wanted to have it burned in his memory..

Her hips bucked and writhed against him almost violently as she awaited what came next, and she didn't have to wait long cause her head arched back as she felt his swollen, wet head press against her..

John almost came at the sight of her and then as he pushed inside her tight walls he almost came again at the feeling of her against him, he couldn't help the grunts and moans leaving his throat as he pushed inch by inch into her wet body that seemed to swallow him hole and grab him with such a force it was hard for him to move..

"Oh my god john, you feel so fucking good" she called out as he entered her slowly..

"you feel fucking amazing" he grunted as he shoved the last inches into her hard and she moaned out in pleasure as his mouth collapsed on hers as his body began to roughly thrust in and out of her as she pulsated against him, cumming relentlessly as he slammed into her..

She couldn't even form words now as he fucked her, she had never orgasmed like this before, her entire body was on fire and shaking almost violently as he grunted into her mouth and his movements got even faster and he tore his mouth from hers...

He grunted and growled loud as he threw his head back, both of their moans filling the cottage, and with two more thrusts he attempted to pull out of her but ended up cumming everywhere on her as he fell against her body, sweating, breathing heavy, hearts racing as they tried to recover from the most intense sex either of them had ever had..


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter Eight

By the next morning Natalie awoke to the smell of fresh brewed coffee and an overwhelming scent of bacon and eggs as she stretched out on the couch, her eyes immediately popping open as the images from the night before filled her head..

Her and John had sex but not just sex, amazing sex, mind blowing sex, and a smile curved her lips as she laid there...

John came out of the kitchen and looked at her laying on the couch, a thin sheet covering her body, a smile on her lips..

"good morning beautiful" he said as he neared her and her eyes opened again and she let out a soft groan..

"Morning" she smiled as he placed two cups of coffee on the table and then scooped her legs up and sat down, placing them on his lap..

He looked even wonderful in the morning with just a pair of jeans on, no shirt, his body that of a god as she found herself staring but he didn't notice cause he was staring at her body as well...

The feeling of his eyes on her body made her blush as she sat up some, grabbing for the coffee..

"You didn't have to do all of this" she began as she took a sip of the heaven in a cup..

"I wanted to, the least I could do since your neighbors dog enjoyed the Chinese food yesterday" he smirked a bit and so did she.."so what do you have planned for today?" he knew he wanted to spend more time with her, he kept his schedule clear..

"Hmmmm, I dunno..." she took another sip and he brought his arm around her, pulling her next to his body as he kissed her forehead..

"anything you want sweetheart, just name it" he said in such a sexy tone it made her body ache all over again..

"Ummm...umm" was the only words she could muster as he leaned over to her, kissing her softly and then quickly he was getting up and she pouted some...

"you gotta eat before it gets cold" he grinned and he made his way into the kitchen and Natalie wrapped the sheet around her body as she sat on the couch some more, she had never had anyone make her breakfast before, and when John came walking in with two big plates her eyes got wide..

"wow, now that's a lot of food" she began as her stomach grumbled..

"I thought you may be hungry after last night" he winked at her and she smiled as he took a seat and they both began to eat..

Breakfast went smoothly, it was delicious and he even got up to wash the dishes, she fought against it cause he had already done so much but he wouldn't budge, instead she jumped in the shower cause they had a day planned, doing what, she had no idea but she was spending it with him so it really didn't matter..

Almost a month later and John had moved in, it started off with him spending the nights, then the days and soon, little by little his stuff was moving into the cottage much to his surprise and Natalie's..

John was never the type to really settle down or better yet move in with anyone but with Natalie it felt different, he had to be with her, around her, just as much as he needed air to breathe, the relationship had become one of the most intense either of them had ever had..

Sure there was gossip about it, people voicing their own opinions that they were moving to fast or jumping the gun but they ignored those statements cause in their little world it was John and Natalie and nothing else mattered..

They did chores together, cooked together, yard work, hell they even worked together and it still didn't seem like enough time. Nights would be spent cuddling up in front of the tv or just talking for hours on end about nothing at all, days spent at the park or beach, movie theaters, at restaurants, whatever they were doing you could guarantee they were doing it together very much to the dislike of Marty who wouldn't even look at Natalie now and if she did speak to John it was in a nasty condescending tone that usually ended up in him telling her to get the hell out of his office..

On this particular evening Natalie was alone fixing dinner, John had a last minute job assignment that had him gone since earlier in the morning so Natalie took it upon herself to prepare dinner, she was trying to make something special cause today she found out some news, news that would change them both..

John drove in his car, a long ride from Atlantic City, too long for the things he had to think about, the news he got today, the news that would change everything, he tried to keep his mind focused otherwise he may just skid off the road, today had become a nightmare..

Natalie hummed to herself, a bit of fear racing through her body as she thought about how she was going to tell John, would he be angry, upset, happy, it tore at her but mainly she felt confident that he would be happy cause of the conversation they had the other night about this very same thing..

A few days ago...

Natalie and John lay in bed, her head resting on his bare chest as his fingers ran up and down her back, soothing her as her eyes began to close..

"would you ever want to have children, I mean I know last time it wasnt the right time" Natalie began, she had been thinking about this a lot over the past few days, so much so it was driving her crazy..

"And not the right person" John interjected..."Why you wanna practice some more on making a baby" he grinned as he rolled her on her back, his eyes filled with that same desire..

"well that's always fun, but im serious, do you want to have kids one day" she asked and his hand moved to her belly, rubbing it..

"I want you to have my children one day" he grinned...

Natalie smiled as she thought about his words and she touched her own belly as she stood in the kitchen, the slight nausea, lightheadedness, and the case of food poisoning wasnt poisoning at all, she was pregnant and excitement and fear coursed her body cause even though John mentioned he wanted her to have his children, a month after officially dating seemed a bit fast, even though everything about their relationship was a bit fast..

A day ago...

_Natalie had prepared a lunch for the guys, John and Michael..Now that John's brother was in town and working at the hospital they had been spending alot of time together, catching up on years passed, but John happened to be at the store when Natalie fixed the sandwiches and Michael watched intently.._

"You really do make him happy, you know that right" Michael sipped on his iced tea as Natalie smiled..

"Feelings mutual" she grinned as she thought of John..

"I havent been around much in the past years but i have never seen John like this with anyone, you seemed to of made him a softy" Michael laughed..

"he's a great guy" she placed the food on the table..

"so when are you going to tell him about the baby" Natalie almost choked on her spit as she spun around and looked at Michael..

"Excuse me...what?" she felt her nerves racing, she had been feeling things with her body, unusual things and a part of her thought about being pregnant but she let that slide quickly, so she was a few days late on her period, no biggie..

"Listen im a doctor and i have been here enough to notice the symptoms and it aint food poisioning" he raised an eyebrow.."why dont you come by the hospital tomorrow"

And thats just what she did, it couldnt hurt she kept telling herself, so Michael gave her a pregnancy test and low and behold it was positive..

She was going to tell him over dinner, or maybe over desert if she could even contain herself that long, she wanted this, that much she did know, she had always wanted children, even when her and Cris were together, they had talked about it, of course he wanted them to marry first, she shook the images from her head, that was in the past now, she was with John, and Cris would be happy for them, both of them that they were able to find happiness out of a tragedy, she took comfort in that..

John sat in traffic, he was beside himself with anger and grief, today did not turn out the way he had thought, it began like any other visit he had made to the Atlantic City jail, he use to work in AC so he kept in close contact with his buddies there, including the commish, so when he got the call saying that one of the drug dealers that dealt with Mitch Lawrence had been taken down he jumped on it, cause he had been after Mitch for years now, a Drug King Pin, manufacturing and selling liquid Xanax illegally causing the death of nearly 15 people now, not to mention the numerous other charges on him that rang from kidnapping to weapons charges, he was also linked to numerous other murders but like any drug lord he was smart, have someone else do the dirty work for you, and John thought he found just that guy, how wrong he was...

_John made his way through the AC jail where the perpetrator was being held before being shipped off to States-ville a maximum security prison..He had heard about this guy, new to system but close as hell to Mitch or so the rumor went, his name Rocco Martin, or like many called him, Rocky..._

_John knew his type and he knew just how to handle him, he would be difficult at first but John had a way with words, a way to make people talk when they didn't want to.._

_He stood outside the interrogation room and got his game face on as the Police Officer standing outside opened the door and John walked inside but when he saw who was there he froze and he was sure his heart stopped beating for a second.._

_"Close the door quick" the man called out and John couldn't move cause standing before him, looking more rugged then he remembered, a few new tattoo's, hair a bit longer was none other then his dead or better yet undead best friend Cristian Vega.."don't just stand there man, come here" Cris said as an Officer quickly shut the door and Cris walked over to John, hugging him.."its great to see you man"_

_John was in shock, total shock as Cris hugged him and then puled back and laughed some..._

_"I look good for a dead guy, huh" Cris laughed and the reality of the situation hit John and just as fast his fist hit Cris square in the nose.."I guess I had that coming" Cris held his now bloodied nose_

_"what the fuck is going on" John said almost frantically as he looked at his friend, the one he saw being buried, the one who was standing there alive.._

_"Ok just calm down, I knew you would freak out but hear me out" Cris began and John couldn't believe his ears.._

_"Calm down?, calm the fuck down!, how...how?, what the fuck?" Johns breathing quickened as he stood there, his legs felt like they weighed a ton, he couldn't move, it was Cris, really Cris!_

John nearly swerved off the road as he drove, how was he going to face Natalie, how was he going to keep Cris's secret, could he even do that, even though he had a secret of his own that he didn't tell Cris, the fact that he was in love and living with Natalie..

_"I couldn't tell you man, I knew you would of talked me out of it, but I was so close to getting Mitch, so close, its gonna happen, I can feel it" Cris began to pace and act erratically as John watched in horror, his world was crashing around him.._

_"You …...you faked your own death man,...do you even understand what it did to your family, to me, to Natalie" John was beside himself as he looked at his friend.._

_"it was only suppose to be for a little bit, just till I closed this case and got that mutha fucker" Cris shook his head.._

_"it killed her to think you were dead, she couldn't function" John continued as Cris looked at him, maybe for the first time understanding what this had done to those around him.."I had to watch her, take care of her, made sure she fucking ate!" John yelled in anger.._

_"Im gonna make it up to her" Cris began and Johns eyes grew wide as he shook his head.._

_"Are you out of your fucking mind, your gonna see her, tell her, are you trying to drive her crazy" John yelled..._

_"I love her, I did this to give her, us a better life" Cris slumped in a chair and held his head.._

_John didn't even know what to say as he watched Cris, this was absurd, insane, unreal..._

_"I didn't want it to take this long, a few weeks , tops, it got crazy, I couldn't stop, come on John, you know what its like, he is so close I can taste it, I have a one on one with him next week, this is the in I was looking for" Cris pleaded his case and John just shook his head.."If this doesn't work im not going any further, im gonna tell her John, I wouldn't put that on you to tell her, your my best friend man, my best friend"_

_John just looked at him, he wanted to hit him again, he wanted to scream at him.."she's moved on" John spit out quickly, surprising himself..._

_"Moved on, what do you mean, with life or with someone" Cris said quickly, shock in his voice as if he assumed she would be sitting around waiting for him.._

_"It doesn't matter, she has, this would devastate her" John began as he paced now..._

_"Ok, I can deal with that, we had something special, we can get that back" Cris began to ramble some.._

_"do you hear yourself, she thinks your dead, we buried you or who we thought was you" John shook his head as he thought back to how horrible those days and nights were for both him and Natalie, and it was all a set up, the thought made him sick to his stomach.._

_"I can fix it John!" Cris yelled and then calmed down.."I can fix this ok, I just need time, just a little more time"_

_"I gotta go...i just gotta go" John walked to the door quick, he had to get out of there and Cris jumped up and stopped him.._

_"Come on man, I know you understand, everyone lets a case get the best of them every once and awhile" Cris put his hand on Johns shoulder.._

_"Not everyone fakes their own death" John said as he opened the door and left.._

Driving home he kept thinking of how Cris did it, how he took a perfect opportunity to disappear and all for a case, how many lives he hurt, and how he had broken Natalie and now John was going to have to face her, and then what, tell her, just come out and tell her, oh by the way sweetheart I ran into Cris today, oh yeah he is still alive working a case, he sends his love! The thought infuriated him but could he hide it from her, he couldn't that much he did know, he had to tell her..

Natalie finished getting the plates on the table, everything looked perfect, her heart jumped when she heard the front door open and she ran to greet John, jumping in his arms and planting kisses all over his neck...

He was so ready to tell her, he had braced himself for it, but she was so happy right now, she was his Natalie right now and for tonight he wanted to keep it that way..

"I missed you" she whispered in his ear and he held her tighter..

"I missed you too sweetheart" he didn't want to let go of her, just a few more seconds of this...

Natalie thought she would be able to wait to tell him the news, she really did but seeing him, hugging him, there never really would be a right time, no time like the present...

"John I have something to tell you" she whispered and he could tell it was something big by the sound of her voice and part of him felt guilty for what he was hiding, a big part..

"Can it wait,... I have something to tell you" he began and she pulled back with the biggest of smiles on her face, it pulled at his heart but he tried not to show it..

"eeeeeee not really, I mean it can if you need it too" she was bursting at the seams..

"No, you go first" he couldn't take whatever this was that made her so damn happy away from her cause surely his news would have her the opposite..

"Ok ok ok...so you remember the talk we had the other day" she began and he tried to think back to the many talks they had, the talks that might end once she found out the information he had.."Oh forget it" she squealed..."Im pregnant, John were Pregnant!"

Natalie didn't breathe as she waited for John's reaction but it definitely wasnt what she was expecting as he looked at her then walked past her, this was her worse fear, he wasnt happy at all, she wanted to cry..

John heard her news, he did, it took a second to register, pregnant, his heart sunk as he thought of what he had gone through today and what he would lose, what he couldn't lose, what he would die for, kill for..

"I...I.." Natalie mumbled as her eyes welled up, she was emotional as it was but this, this wasnt what she expected to happen, had she misread everything he said, everything she felt, everything they were to one another.."Oh god... you hate it" she couldn't contain the tears anymore as she tried to run past him but he reached out and grabbed her arm, stopping her.."I just thought...I just" she began to cry and John pulled her close..

"Marry me" he said quickly and she thought she heard him wrong..."Natalie marry me" he was pleading now..

"Huh?...what?" she wiped her eyes as she looked at him and he pushed her hair back, touching her face..

"Lets get married, I love you, lets get married" his lips crashed into hers, kissing her passionately, he loved her, and she was having his baby, he couldn't think of anything else to do but this..

"John...john" Natalie pulled herself back, completely confused by his question cause it definitely didn't match his demeanor.."Im pregnant" she thought maybe he heard her wrong, maybe that was it..

"and I couldn't be more happier then I am now, please marry me" there was something in his voice that frightened her, he said it with such a sadness, a fear, why?

"Your not...mad?" she said with confusion...

"Mad, definitely not mad sweetheart, didn't I not just tell you the other day I would love for you to have my children" his hand went to her stomach as he touched it.."I meant every word" he could see his life, his happiness with her sliding away as he spoke, he wouldn't lose her, not to Cris, not to anyone..

Natalie eyes grew wide and here came the tears again and he pulled her against him hard..."i love you John"

"You have no idea how much I love you Natalie" He whispered against her..


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter Nine

Days turned into weeks, then months, 4 months to be exact and Natalie was definitely pregnant, no cyst there and things were better then she could imagine, John was like a dream come true, a bit over bearing at times but it always made her smile, just like their first doctors visit when he was so nervous and fumbling around, it was adorable..

12 weeks pregnant...

John was more then a nervous wreck as he paced the exam room as Natalie sat on the table.. He had heard from Cris one more time, apparently everything was going as planned with Mitch but not going as planned with John..

_John sat in his office, his mind on Natalie and the child in her belly, growing and getting stronger by the day, his family, the family he felt like he had to fight for now.._

_The phone ringing made him snap out of his thoughts.."McBain"_

_"John, thank god" Cris began and John shut his eyes tight as he heard the voice on the other end.."man ive been calling and calling"_

_"Ive been busy" John said abruptly, he didn't even want to hear Cris's voice anymore, oddly months and months ago he would of killed to hear his friends voice, now he dreaded it, he was doing a good job at hiding it from Natalie, for now atleast, it killed him a little everyday.._

_"Busy, that's never stopped you before" Cris laughed some.._

_"why are you calling?" John just wanted to get this over with.._

_"whats wrong, why are you being like this" Cris seemed to be worried as he spoke.."Your not still mad, are you"_

_John made sure his door was still shut and he spun his chair around.."mad is an understatement"_

_"Oh come on John, what about friends to the end" Cris sighed and John shook his head.._

_"I really don't have time for this, im at work" John began, he wanted to just hang up.._

_"Ok fine, I will make it quick, have you seen her, how is she?" Cris said quickly and John wanted to tell him right then and there but he didn't.._

_"she is fine, you really need to rethink what your doing, coming back into her life now..your making a mistake" John clutched the phone tightly, so much that his hand turned red.._

_"Oh please, why are you all of a sudden on the cheering section for her happiness" Cris said sarcastically.._

_"Since you died and left me to deal with all of this" John snapped somewhat loudly then lowered his voice.."You do what you have to Cris, I wont have any part in it"_

_"what the hell has gotten into you John, we were friends damn it!" Cris yelled and John looked at the phone and slammed it down as his office door opened.._

_"wow, you ok bro, you look like shit" Michael said as he came in.._

John paced the room some more, where the hell was this doctor, he was on edge, it was being to feel like everyday could be his last and that scared him...

"John relax, god I think your more nervous then me" Natalie laughed some as John came over to her, hugging her some..

"I just don't like doctors offices" he said low..

"Your brothers a doctor" Natalie laughed..

"exactly, if they gave him a license then any old quack can get one" he smirked some and Natalie playfully punched his arm..

"Your so bad John" she held his hand..

"Mr. and Mrs Mcbain" the doctor said as he entered the room, "Im Dr Reynolds"

"Not McBain,...yet" Natalie interjected with a smile as John squeezed her hand tighter, they had discussed their upcoming nuptials, John wanted to just elope but after hearing Natalie's plea for a large wedding he caved in, even though he felt like he was running out of time, so the wedding was set for 3 months from now, Natalie just hoped she would still fit in some kind of dress by then..

"Sorry Mrs. Buchanan, and Mr. Mcbain...would you like to hear the heartbeat" his words made both of their eyes get wide.."I take that as a yes"

"Yes" John and Natalie said in unison as they squeezed each others hand harder and Natalie laid back on the table, John at her side...

John watched as the doctor moved Natalie's shirt up some, exposing her belly, the slightest little bump was visible, he didn't think it was possible to love her body anymore but he did, he found himself just touching her belly as she slept, talking to his unborn child, making promises to it and to her..

Natalie smiled as she looked at John, he really was getting into this whole pregnancy thing, sometimes it felt like more then she was, he was always looking out for her, for the baby, trying to feed them every chance he got until she would have to beg him to stop..

_"You know there is only one baby in there" she would laugh at him.."Im not feeding an army"_

_"says who" he would joke.._

The sound of the monitor caught them both off guard, it was faint at first, it sounded like galloping horses, a lot of them, then it got louder and both their eyes got wide..

"Is that" John said as he looked at the doctor, then Natalie..

"sure is, nice and strong" the doctor smiled and Natalie felt the emotion take her over, she knew she was pregnant but this, hearing the heartbeat, it made it so real..

"wow" she said with tears as John moved her hands to his lips, placing a kiss on it, for him, hearing his baby's heartbeat was a turning point, he was going to be a dad..

By the next day it seemed like John was on a mission, hearing the heartbeat of his unborn child changed him, and Natalie woke up to the sound of pounding that got louder and louder..

John had taken it upon himself to turn Natalie's computer room into a nursery for the baby, he had gotten up at 4 am and headed to the nearest Loews, waited till the doors open then bought anything a person could need to make a nursery, paint, wall decals, curtains, he actually bought curtains, he had stopped by baby depot on his way home from there and filled up his large vehicle with a crib, a stroller, car seat, high chair, a handful of stuff animals, blankets and sheets, so he may of gone a bit overboard but this was his child and his child was going to have the world as was Natalie..

Natalie climbed out of bed and groaned as the pounding stopped and she glanced down the hallway just in time to see John coming out of the computer room..

"John...what...what are you doing" she wiped her sleepy eyes as he shut the door quick and came over to her, kissing her passionately then pulling back.."what are you up to?" she smirked a bit...

"Nothing at all, want some juice, I stopped by the store, got you some donuts" he took her hand and lead her down the hall as she glanced at the new lock installed on the computer room door..

"what the" she began as he pulled her past it..

"don't worry bout that, I need the room for a few days" he said quickly, he wanted to have it all finished before he showed her his work..

"Ok" she said suspiciously as he lead her in the kitchen and her eyes grew wide at the huge box of donuts.."ok now that's a lot of donuts, im not even hungry" she began as he poured her a big glass of orange juice..

"You don't like them, you want me to get different ones?" he looked around the kitchen for his keys and Natalie stopped him by taking his hand..

"John...i love them...you don't have to do all of this" she said quickly, she had never seen John like this before, granted it was sweet as hell but he was going a bit overboard..

"You don't like them" he sighed deep and she started to laugh as she hugged him..

"I love you, just relax...if I eat all the donuts I will look like one soon" she laughed as she thought about all the food he had been pushing at her, at this rate she would gain 100 pounds easy..

"You'd be the best looking donut out there" he smirked as he brushed a piece of her hair back and looked at her.."You are so beautiful"

"and so are you but I have to get ready for work" she began to move some but he didn't let go..

"you know you could just stay home, I have the day off" he grinned and pulled her closer and the idea was tempting but she had work to do..

"The world doesn't stop cause im pregnant, John" she smirked..

"I could make it, you know I am very good with persuasion" he grinned as he began to kiss her neck and for a second she fell into it, the feeling of his lips on her but reality sunk in and she playfully pushed him back..

"I have to go, really" she gave him a quick kiss and took a bite out of one of the donuts as he smiled and off she went to her room to get ready..

Natalie made her way into her bathroom, stripping off her clothes as she looked at her body in the mirror, the slightest little bump was present and she touched it, looking at it..

A hand come from around her, and she glanced up to see John looking at her through the mirror and he rubbed his hand on her belly as he placed a soft kiss on the back of her neck..

"John" she said breathlessly.."I have work" she could barely concentrate and he smiled as he walked around her, his eyes on hers the entire time..

"Oh I wont be long" he grinned as his mouth devoured her and his hands ran down her naked body..."see its not so bad" he smirked and she smiled..

"I never said it was bad" she smiled back as her hand moved down his bare chest, sliding past his stomach and to his jeans as she cupped his very aroused manhood and grinned as he bit his lip.."my turn" she grinned as she unbuttoned his jeans and pushed them down..

"No fair" John said a bit breathlessly as her hand surrounded his cock and she smiled wickedly..

"Two can play this game" she kissed his neck and then slid down his body as his eyes closed and her warm mouth slid over his engorged penis..

"Oh god" he felt his legs go weak as her tongue teased him and her hand worked up and down his shaft..

Her mouth worked magic on his body and soon he was bracing himself on the wall as she sucked and tugged against his penis with an unreal strength..

"Oh shit...you need to stop" his hands grabbed at her head but she was relentless as she sucked against him..."baby, it was... it was my turn" he began to groan as he tried to hold off from the inevitable..

Natalie didn't give up as she stroked him, sucked him in unison and soon his hands weren't fighting her but helping her as he held her head and directed her faster on his cock..

"Oh fuck,... im gonna cum...fuck, fuck" he called out as she drank all that he offered and with his legs still shaking and his breathing still weakened she stood up and smiled..

"And now I have to get ready for work" she grinned as he stood there trying to regain his composure..

"You ….don't...play ...fair" he said in short breaths..

"I never said I did" she placed a kiss on his lips and jumped in the shower...

Natalie made it off to work as John continued on the nursery, the sound of a knock on the door caught his attention as he put the paint down and headed to the front door, wiping the sweat from his brow..

"Hey bro.. what the" Michael began as John let him in..

"Im doing a little painting, don't tell Nat though" John began, knowing that Michael had a big mouth, always had, always would..

"A little painting, looks like your have more of it on yourself then anything" Michael laughed.."let me see this creation of yours bro"

"Ok but don't laugh, im not really use to all this" John began as he got ready for Michael's criticism and they entered the room and Michael looked around..

"Im impressed...looks like you got all of the baby store in this one room" Michael laughed as he looked at all the boxed furniture...

"yeah I just picked up a few things for the baby" John began as his phone rang and he looked at it and quickly shoved it in his pocket..

'You need to get that ?" Michael asked suspiciously and John walked past him quickly and grabbed the paint roller..

"Nope" he began to paint as Michael watched..

"whats going on John" Michael made his way next to John

"what, im painting" John kept his eyes on the wall..

"what are you hiding, your not...your not cheating on Nat, are you" Michael began and John to offense to that..

"No,...never" he said defensively as he stopped painting..

"You got yourself into something John, tell me, maybe I can help you" Michael had concern in his voice, he knew his brother and he could definitely tell something was up..

"Mikey im fine... just nervous about the baby and all" John wasnt completely lying cause he was nervous but also scared that his life was going to be ripped out from underneath him at any moment..

"everyone gets nervous, its your first" Michael seemed to have bought this story, John felt relieved..

"yeah well I want everything to be perfect, I don't want anything to ruin this" john began and wished he hadn't when he saw the look of suspicion on Michaels face again..

"You know im here for you John, you can talk to me, I know its been awhile but im always here for you" Michael said with a pat on the shoulder..

"I know, its appreciated but im fine, me and Nat are fine, everything is going to be fine" John said even though a big part of him didn't believe that..


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter Ten...

5 months pregnant...

The sight of Lanview was one out of a story book, the ground covered in snow, Christmas decorations hung up on the houses and light posts as well as inside the cottage, It was Christmas time, or atleast soon it would be Christmas, 2 weeks to be exact and only another 3 weeks till their wedding which they had pushed for Jan 1st, no better way then to ring in the new year as a happily married couple..

They opted for a smaller wedding in the end, the big one was becoming too much and with planning for the baby they both decided they would rather spend money on things for the baby and a small honeymoon before they became full time parents..So they had a planned on getting married at the Buchanan Manor and then a reception at Rodi's with no pressure..

Today the house was warm and toasty, the smell of fresh baked cookies filled the air, a Christmas tree filled the livingroom decorated beautifully, it was a wonderful time of year..

Natalie looked at herself in the mirror, she couldn't believe how big she got, how big the baby had got, her stomach was definitely protruding now especially with her small frame, and her breasts got even larger, heavier too as she looked at her side profile, she felt like a whale as she tried to suck her stomach in some, did all pregnant women look this big, it seemed like it happened over night too, like one day she woke up and could barely see her feet, she glanced down, toes, she saw toes, it was all good, for now atleast..

John watched her unknowingly as she judged herself in the mirror, he knew she was getting more and more uncomfortable with her body but to him it was the most beautiful sight and if he watched for a little bit he could even see her stomach move, making him remember the first time he felt the little guy, ( he was sure it was a boy) kick, and Natalie was sleeping, he loved the baby already, he didn't even know that he could love someone so much without even seeing them, holding them, this changed everything for him..

"You know you really have to stop kicking mommy, I know you want to come out, believe me we want you to come out just as bad" Natalie cooed to her stomach as she rubbed it, It was the oddest feeling to be kicked from the inside and to watch her stomach move, she had felt an overwhelming need to go into mommy mode, like right now..

"I think your daddy has been giving me too many sweets, that's why your so hyper" she cooed some more..

"Speak for yourself I think the little guy loves it" John said as he came up from behind her and rubbed her belly, smiling as he felt the baby kick..

"Your gonna give her a complex" Natalie smiled..

"Her, hmmm...if your a boy give daddy's hand a kick" John talked to her belly and smiled.."see, told you" he grinned proudly..

"Uh huh, she has been doing it all day, isn't that right" Natalie smiled as they rubbed her belly together..

"Cause he is gonna be a soccer player" John smirked..

"Oh really, maybe she is going to be a soccer player, girls can play too" Natalie turned to face him now as she pulled her shirt over the obvious bulge and she wrapped her hands around his neck, she really did love him more and more each day..

"You know it seems as though someone was trying to break into the computer room the other other" John grinned as Natalie looked at him mischievously..

"whatever do you mean" she grinned as she kissed his lips softly..

"Uh hmmmm, you will need more then a butter knife to get in there sweetheart" he kissed her back...

"John" she playfully whined..."i want to see what you have been doing in there for so long" , It actually was beginning to drive her crazy cause he would be locked in there for hours on end sometimes, what the heck was he up to?

"you know what they say, good things come to those who wait" he planted a kiss on her nose, he was almost done with the nursery, actually he had it all planned out, it would be done by Christmas, it would be perfect..

Things had been going really smooth, almost too smooth, no more word from Cris even though John was happy about that cause maybe Cris actually took his advice and wouldn't come back into Natalie's life, but the unknowing drove him crazy 90 percent of the time..He tried not to think about it, hoping it would just become a distant memory..

"Oh fine, your no fun" Natalie pouted and John grinned big..

"Thats not what you were saying last night" he began to kiss her neck seductively and her body felt like it was on fire, being pregnant definitely had its advantages, one being the orgasms were out of this world, and her desire was insatiable.

Her hand moved between them, grazing his swollen manhood through his jeans as a low growl left his lips..

"you drive me crazy" He groaned as he pulled back and looked at her..

"i do believe that feeling is mutual" she bit her lip as her eyes glazed over..."we have some time before your brother comes by for dinner" she gave his cock a squeeze and he grunted in response..

"are you trying to seduce me" he planted soft kisses on her neck and face..

"I think its the other way around big guy" she grinned and then pushed his back up against the bathroom wall with a thud..

"Strong girl, huh" he grinned as his cock swelled even more at the sight of her..

"I can be" she smirked as she spun around and backed her ass up against him, teasing him as she stood there with just a maternity t shirt on and a pair of Johns boxers, she looked delicious..

"Yes...yes you can" he growled as his hands went to her hips, grinding himself against ass, the thin material of the boxers not hiding anything..

"someone is happy to see me" she spun her head around to look at him as he kept a firm hold on her hips..

"You have no idea" he groaned as he yanked her boxers down and she kicked them off, and in one swift move he was pulling her shirt up and off of her as she fumbled with his jeans, but he didn't have time for that so he quickly grabbed her hand and led her to the bed..

Lovemaking was different these days, he had to be more gentle with her, with their baby growing inside her but that just meant that they would explore with different positions and he was all up for that.., But this time she had another idea as she pushed him down on the bed, making him fall on his back and she yanked his jeans and boxers off of him..

He could do nothing but watch in marvel at the power she had over him, she really didn't understand how much he loved her, how much he would do anything for her, she was his life, this was his family..

"Is there something you need " she asked seductively as her hands went over her breasts and she began to lean over his body, his eyes feasting on her..

"I think I need to feel you" he began and she playfully shook her head..

"you think?" she pouted and he sat up quickly and took over her mouth with his as she took a seat on his lap, straddling him, his cock throbbing and resting between her folds of wet silky skin as his hands went to her ass, rocking her against him..

With one final kiss Natalie pulled back breathless, as did he, both panting as she pushed him back once more, desire in her blue eyes and a smile on her lips as she moved up on him some more, holding herself above his rock hard cock, she teased him a bit more, running her hand up and down his shaft causing his eyes to roll in the back of his head..

Then she was lowering herself on him, slowly as she let his size take her over and become one with her body..His hands immediately went to her hips, directing her more as he grunted primally into the air..

"so good baby,...so good" he would moan as she gasped and panted until he was totally planted inside her..

She rode him with expertise, his hands on her hips, helping her as she slide up and down his engorged cock, riding him to climax then back again as he tried to hold off, she looked like a goddess, his goddess and his concentration was going to hell..

Their moans filled the room as she began to ride him fast, his hips bucking up to meet her..

"God you are so fucking beautiful" he growled deep as she threw her head back and rode wave after wave of orgasm..

John couldn't take anymore as he thrust into her quickly, her moans getting louder and louder as his cock swelled enormously and then erupted inside her with grunts and moans as she collapsed next to him on the bed, having sex with John was definitely a work out for her and she tried to catch her breath as did he, pulling her body against his as they laid there and he planted kisses on the top of her head..

"I love you" he said breathlessly

"I love you too"

Michael came by for dinner as planned but he brought an unexpected guest with him, one of the nurses from the hospital, a woman named Marcy and they seemed to be hitting it off, and Natalie took a liking to her almost instantly..

She was bubbly and bouncy, she had a kindness about her and Natalie could definitely tell she was into Michael, they flirted throughout the entire dinner and the atmosphere in the house was a very pleasant one as the guys sat on the couch, sipping back on beers as Natalie got the cookies ready for desert..

"she seems like a really nice girl" John tried to make small talk with Michael cause he knew Michael was just itching to get on him again about his odd behavior, he may be able to hide it from Natalie, mainly cause she had a million and one things on her mind at the moment, the baby, the upcoming wedding, but to hide it from Michael, that was hard..

"she is a lot of fun, I think she likes me" Michael grinned big as he glanced at the kitchen..

"I knew you would find someone who would tolerate you" John laughed..

"yeah well I could say the same about you Bro, by the way how are things, baby looks like it is growing nice and big, I mean Natalie is huge" John looked at Michael warningly as Natalie came in the room and John looked down..

"Whats huge?" Natalie put her hands on her hips making her belly stand out even more..

"The umm... the um...the tree, wow its a big one" Michael played it off quickly and John shook his head..

"Ok so it looks like I ate a watermelon" Natalie looked down at her belly and John got up and walked over to her..

"not a watermelon baby, more like a cantaloupe" John said as he rubbed her watermelon shaped belly..

"I haven't seen a cantaloupe that big" Michael began and immediately stopped, Marcy looked horrified.."how about that coffee" Michael ran out of the room, trying to figure out how he was going to remove his foot from his mouth..

"You look wonderful baby" John said with a smile and Natalie sighed...

"If you like watermelons" she held her belly with both hands..

"just happens that I love them" John leaned into her ear.."and I want to eat you up right now" he whispered seductively and Natalie totally forgot about the belly issue, John had a way of doing that..

They whispered back and forth a bit between one another as Michael and Marcy came back in the room, Natalie and John turned to face them, both faces flushed...

"alrighty then I think we should call it a night:" Michael said quickly as he looked at the two of them..

"I think thats a great idea" John grinned at Natalie..

They all said there good byes, Michael and Marcy left as Natalie stood in the kitchen putting away the dishes..

"You know I can do that for you" John began to help her and she smiled at him..

"Have I told you that your wonderful" she grinned big, he really was everything a girl could ever ask for..

"you know what, you could show me" John said with a seductive smile as he pulled Natalie into his arms just as the door bell rang..." I bet he left something"

"oh the cookies" Natalie looked at the plate on the counter and grabbed it for Michael..

"i will put the rest of this away" John smiled as Natalie made her way to the door..

"Forgot something" she laughed as she opened the door.."Marty?" Natalie said with confusion as Marty stood at the door..

"i need to talk to John" she said with a nasty tone as she looked Natalie up and down, this was the first time Natalie had seen her In months, she began to assume maybe Marty just left town but apparently not, now she was at her door at almost 9 pm, to see John, Natalie tried to hide her anger..

"Man I told you to grab the cookies before you bro.." John began as he walked out into the living room where Natalie stood at the door, Marty there as well, and for a second he thought he was going to have to break up a cat fight.."what do you want Marty" he snapped bitterly, he could tell by the way Natalie was standing that she was not happy at all..

Natalie turned and looked to John as Marty smirked.."she said she needs" Natalie began but got cut off by Marty in mid sentence..

"I need to talk to you,... in private" Marty snarked as she shot Natalie a nasty look and John put his arm around Natalie protectively..

"You can say it in front of Natalie" John said quickly, he was in no mood for Marty's games, Natalie was relieved to hear him say that cause otherwise she might be just a little upset and that was an understatement..

Marty smirked big.."Oh ok, you asked for it,... so guess who I ran into the other day"

John quickly pulled himself from Natalie, his eyes wide, he knew where this was going, how?, he had no idea and apparently Natalie was confused as hell but he had to deal with Marty..

"Outside" he said sternly at a smiling Marty as Natalie looked at him with a what the fuck is going on, kind of look..

"John, you want to tell me what this is about" she said quickly, something was up, she could feel it..

"I just need to take care of this, I will explain in a few min" he tried to reassure an already now suspicious Natalie and then he stepped outside, closing the door as Natalie stood there fuming, what the hell was going on!


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter Eleven...

Natalie stood fuming in the living room, John never pushed her aside like this before, and for Marty? She was beyond furious as she rushed off to her bedroom, he better start explaining..

John pulled Marty roughly by the arm towards her car as she laughed some..

"Damn John it feels like old times, you being rough with me" she purred some and anger emanated off of him..

"what are you doing here" he didn't want to come out and say anything further, incriminate himself until he knew what exactly she was talking about by running into someone..

"you seem a little on edge John, I could help you out with that since you have little Miss Fatty now" she smirked and it took everything in him to contain himself..

"Say another word about her and I will" he began and she rolled her eyes at him..

"You'll what John, hmm?" she smirked and he sighed deep, clenching his fists..

"I don't have time for this" he snapped and she smiled...

"Yes time is of the essence these days, you would know that better then anyone" she raised an eyebrow..

"stop fucking with me Marty, who did you run into?" he couldn't wait anymore, her games were pissing him off bad and he knew Natalie was in the house fuming as he stood out there..

"Well damn if you cant ask nice" she spun around and he grabbed her arm again, this time hard as he yanked her close to him, his hot breath in her ear..

"this is me being nice, don't make me be nasty" he warned low and quickly let go of her arm as she rubbed it..

"You know exactly who I ran into, or shall I say who ran into me, funny how ones past can come back and bite them in the ass" she smiled, she was loving every minute of this..

John didn't know what to say as he stood there, why did Cris go to Marty, is this why he hadn't heard from him..

"Oh don't worry your secret is safe with me...for now" she smiled big..

"what do you want" he wasnt below bargaining at the moment, this was his family at stake for god sake!

"John ...john, im insulted, what makes you think I want anything, maybe im trying to give you time to figure out a plan before she finds out" she grinned..

"what did he say to you, why did he go to you" John began to pace..

"well it seems you have pissed off the dead guy" she laughed.."Your own best friend, im surprised really, so much for the whole bro's before Hoe's deal"

"Thats enough!" John snarled as he pushed her more towards the street..

Natalie watched from the window, they looked like they were in a heated argument, but why, as far as she knew he hadn't even seen Marty in months, and who had she run into, and why was John so worried about that, and why was he so angry right now outside..

They had a perfect evening and that bitch came and ruined it all, and Natalie was pissed and she was bound to get to the bottom of this..

"you better watch who you push around John cause I might just slip to Natalie about this" she stared at him, her head cock..

"You wont have to"

John had all he could take, he was gonna tell Natalie, he couldn't protect her unless she knew, but protect her from what cause in all reality Cris loved her, he wouldnt hurt her if he knew or would he?

Natalie paced her room as she waited for John to get back inside, this was the first time since they began their relationship that she began doubting things and she didn't like it at all, the sound of the door opening and close made her heart race as she stood in the room..

John walked with purpose to their room, he had only one thing on his mind and it was to tell natalie all about Cris, he would plead his case, he would make her see why ..

The bedroom door opened and a somber John walked through and the sight of him made her heart drop, something was wrong, very very wrong, it was written all over his face, she almost didn't even want to hear it..

He could see the look of pure fear in her eyes and it broke his heart, how could he tell her, how could he even start..

"John whats going on" her voice cracked some as she looked at him and his eyes dropped to the floor in shame and she lost it as she began to cry, her worst fears running through her head, John had cheated on her and Marty was hanging it over his head..

"natalie please don't cry" he rushed to her and she backed up..

"Just tell me, ok... just say it" he was confused, had she over heard him talking with Marty, did she already know..."oh god for how long" she began as he stood there.."for how long have you been sleeping with her!" she yelled this time and shock and relief flooded him all at once, atleast she didn't know about Cris yet, she just thought he was cheating..

"No baby, ….no... im not sleeping with her" he walked to her again and she back up some more , confusion on her face again..

"what?" she cried, she was totally confused and upset now, not knowing what the hell was going on..

"Im not cheating you on you, not now, not ever, baby I love you, I would never" he began and she shook her head..

""Then what were you two talking about, you looked mad, who did she run into, what is going on John" she should of felt relief that he hadn't cheated but she didn't cause something was definitely going on and somehow Marty was part of it and she didn't like that one bit..

"I just want you to hear me out, please...Natalie I love you" he grabbed her hand with his shaking one..."I love you so much" now his eyes were watering and fear coursed through her body, this wasnt good at all, she kept thinking.."baby i" he began as his eyes got distracted by something, something on her leg and he looked on, it was red, his eyes grew wide, it was blood..

Natalie watched as his eyes dropped and she followed them, feeling something warm and wet on her legs..."Oh my god...oh my god, John...john" she began to scream with panic..

John was frozen as he looked at her, blood trickling down her legs..

"The baby john!" she cried out as she grabbed her stomach in fear and John scooped her up and ran her to the car..

John had gotten to the hospital in record time but it was the most horrific drive ever as Natalie panicked and cried , he tried so hard to hold himself together but when he watched them wheel Natalie away screaming for him not to leave her but the nurses wouldnt let him go, they said she had to be fully checked out and he didn't want them to have to stop doing there job, but watching her get carted away, fear in her eyes, it killed him and so he broke down, covering his face as he cried, he couldn't lose her, he couldn't lose their baby..

"I need a doctor,...i need one now" John yelled as he carried Natalie inside, her blood on his hands as a few nurses rushed over, one grabbing a wheel chair.."she's pregnant!"

"John...whats happening" she cried out in fear as he put her in the wheel chair..

"baby its gonna be ok" he began as one of the nurses began to push her away in the wheelchair as John followed but he got stopped by another nurse..

"Sir you cant come back here" she began..

"John,...don't leave me" Natalie cried out..

"Baby im not" he yelled to Natalie as he pushed past the nurse and a large security guard came over.."thats my girlfriend damn it, let go of me! Natalie!...Natalie!"

"sir calm down, she is in good hands, I don't want to make you leave" the security guard called out..

"Im a cop you ass hole" he fought against the security guard and was brought to the ground as he watched Natalie yelling and crying as she got pushed through the ER doors and then disappeared..

"NATALIE!" he yelled as the security guard kept him down..

.com/watch?v=_NRdA0ST4Zg (awesome song, tear jerker though, so be warned)

After a warning of being arrested, John calmed himself a bit, as much as he could, him being arrested wouldnt help anything, but he left Natalie alone and the images running throughout his head were too much to bear..

A few minutes later, John is pacing the hall, staring at the ER doors..

"You know I forgot those damn cookies" Michael smiled as he walked up and then noticed Johns appearance.."oh my god is it the baby, is Natalie ok"

"i don't know" John could barely get out .."there was blood Mikey, so much blood, you gotta help her, I cant,...i cant lose her"

" wait here Im gonna go find out what I can" Michael said quickly as he took off in search for where they brought natalie,he was grateful that he had got called in just a few minutes ago..

John paced for what he thought seemed forever, the worst fears going through his mind, she looked so scared, he was so scared for her, his heart was breaking, he felt like he was dying..

He slumped against the wall, sliding down it as he covered his face, crying into his hands..He heard foot steps and he looked up and saw Michael and he jumped to his feet..

"Mikey where is she, is she ok...the baby" John asked frantically but Michaels face was not reassuring..

"they are running tests on her now, they thinks its placenta previa" Michael began and none of it made since to John, it all sounded like gibberish..

"Damn it Michael , English" John yelled...

"John its,...its when the placenta covers the cervix, causing bleeding" he saw his brother had no idea what he was saying.."they are trying to stop the bleeding, if they cant john then they will have to do an emergency c-section" John understood that enough to know that the baby was still so small, not fully developed, delivery at 5 months , he knew that wasnt good...

"I want to see her" his words came in short deep breaths as he looked at his brother, Michael had never seen John like this, he looked helpless..

"you have to wait John, they are doing all they can, you just have to wait" Michael said with concern in his voice..

"can she...can she die?" john felt like he would throw up from speaking those words..

"john were not thinking of that, she is a strong girl, very strong" he put his hand on his brothers shoulder.."I will get you as soon as I know more" Michael got called on the speaker and off he went, leaving John to stand in the hallway alone, and thats exactly how he felt, alone...

John found himself in the Chapel at the hospital, siting there, praying to god that he would do whatever he had to for Natalie, for his baby, just let them be ok, please let them be ok...

His life with Natalie passed before him, the times they spent together, the love he felt for her, her smile, the way she laughed and the way she said his name that made him feel like everything would be ok, she had to be ok, she just had to..

Natalie couldn't calm herself as she laid on the table and the poked and prodded her..

"is the baby ok, where is John" she kept crying over and over again..

"Ma'am were doing all we can, you need to try and calm down, for the baby, we have to stop the bleeding" one of the nurses said as Natalie cried more...

John felt numb as he sat in the chapel, this was his fault, he upset her, he upset her and now she lay in the hospital and she could die, their baby could die, the feeling of guilt was overwhelming...

"john...john" Michael called out as John jumped up and his heart sank as he saw his brothers expression.."john their doing an emergency c-section", Johns world literally collapsed around him as he heard the words...

"Can I see her...Mikey I have to see her" John begged his brother..

"I can sneak you in for a second, they are preparing the operating room as we speak, come on" Michael said as him and John rushed off..

John rushed to her room stopping as he saw her lying there, her sobs quiet now as she looked up at him..

"John...john their doing a c-section" she began to cry as the reality of the situation hit her and John ran to her bedside, taking her hand in his, she looked so pale, so fragile..

"its going to be ok Natalie, I promise its going to be ok" he knew he shouldn't lie but he was lying to himself as well cause it had to be ok..

"Im so sorry John" she cried as the guilt came over her, she felt like she had caused this.."I should of protected our baby more"

"Oh baby no,...your wonderful Natalie, you love our baby, I love our baby, I love you and...and" Johns words got caught in his throat as he looked at her...

"We cant lose this baby John, we cant" she cried and he leaned over and hugged her, burying his head in her neck, his tears wetting her as she held onto him tight, she didn't want to let go..

They stayed like that till a nurse came in..."were ready for her" she spoke as John looked up at the nurse then at Natalie..

"Im gonna be right here when you get out, right here" the feelings flooding through his body were ones he couldn't describe as he looked at her, at his Natalie.."I love you Natalie, I love you so much"

"i love you John" her words rang out in his head as she was carted away and all he could do was watch..

**How do I get through one night without you  
If I had to live without you  
What kind of life would that be  
Oh I, I need you in my arms  
Need you to hold  
You're my world, my heart, my soul**

If you ever leave  
Baby you would take away everything good in my life  
And tell me now

How do I live without you  
I want to know  
How do I breathe without you  
If you ever go  
How do I ever, ever survive  
How do I  
How do I  
Oh, how do I live

Without you, there'd be no sun in my sky  
There would be no love in my life  
There'd be no world left for me  
And I, oh Baby, I don't know what I would do  
I'd be lost if I lost you  
If you ever leave  
Baby you would take away everything real in my life  
And tell me now

How do I live without you  
I want to know  
How do I breathe without you  
If you ever go  
How do I ever, ever survive  
How do I  
How do I  
Oh, how do I live

Please tell me baby  
How do I go on

If you ever leave  
Baby you would take away everything  
Need you with me  
Baby don't you know that you're everything good in my life  
And tell me now

How do I live without you  
I want to know  
How do I breathe without you  
If you ever go  
How do I ever, ever survive  
How do I  
How do I  
Oh, how do I live

How do I live without you  
How do I live without you baby  
How do I live... 


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter Twelve

John stood outside the ER doors, he couldn't even feel his legs anymore, what was taking so long? He felt like everything was being ripped from him, like the universe was playing a cruel joke on him, this wasnt fair, none of this was fair, all he wanted was the chance to love natalie, a chance for them to have a future together, a chance for a family with her..

Michael kept checking up on him as he did his rounds, Michael was a nervous wreck as well and now her family had showed up and John kept himself distant from them, he was worried enough on his own then to have to see their faces..

He imagined what their baby would be like, he didn't even know if they were having a boy or a girl, but he knew it would be perfect either way cause it was theirs.. He could see himself playing ball with his son, or having a tea party with his daughter and Natalie watching on, he could see years down the road, the first day of school..

_"daddy daddy daddy, come on, wake up...wake up" Emily squealed out as she John kept his eyes closed, pretending to sleep..."dadeeeeeeeeee" she shook him in the bed and he grabbed her and rolled her on the bed, tickling her as she laughed hysterically..._

"sounds like a circus in here" natalie smiled as she walked into the bedroom and Emily laughed...

"Mommy...daddy...is...tickling me" Emily laughed..

"Tickling you... no... not tickling, cause you know daddy is ticklish too" Natalie ran to John and grabbed his side as he flopped around on the bed..

"hey no fair" he called out as Natalie tickled him and Emily joined in..

The sound of his phone going off made the tickling end as Natalie picked up Emily .."come on your daddy needs to get that and you have to finish getting ready for school big girl"

""you coming , right daddy" Emily called out as John grabbed for his phone..

"I wouldnt miss it for the world sweetheart"

She would have red hair like her mother, long locks of beautiful hair, great big innocent blue eyes and the personality of her father, she would be perfect..

John squeezed his eyes shut as the tears seeped out, he may never get to see that, he may never get to hold his unborn child, their child, his fantasy may never become reality...

_"Daddy...daddy I found a frog" little James called out as he came running full speed into the house, his hands covered in dirt, he was the spitting image of his father, dark, thick hair, piercing blue eyes, one day he would be driving the girls crazy.._

"Oh yeah little man, and where is it" John looked around as a scream was heard, it was natalie and James's eyes got wide..

"I put it in the sink to clean it" he said innocently as Natalie came running out..

"Johnnnnnnnn!" she yelled as James and John took off running outside to escape the wrath..

John stared at the clock, it seemed like time was ticking by so slowly, his heart literally ached at every passing second..

The door finally swung open and Michael walked out, John rushed over and so did Natalie's family..

John couldn't even speak as he looked at his brother..

"she is in recovery right now, the c-section was without injury" Michael took a deep breath.."the baby is in the Neonatal Unit on a ventilator, she is a fighter John"

John's eyes welled with tears as he listened to his brother.."a girl...i have...a little girl"

"John ,... I have to warn you she is small, very small... we don't really know.." Michael began and John shook his head, he didn't want to hear anymore, he had a baby, a baby girl...

"I need to see Natalie, please...now" he wiped his face..."is she going to be ok" he swallowed hard, waiting for the answer

"everything went smoothly, …... I think she is going to be alright, why don't you come with me John" Michael said as he excused himself from her family, they were being supportive, not fighting to rush in there to see Natalie, they knew John was needing to be there with her, and she needed him.."she is still kind of out of it John, it will be awhile before the drugs wear off"

"Mikey... what are the chances, be straight with me" John looked his brother in the eye, and his eyes didn't lie, fear was there for John and Natalie..

"she is part of you and Natalie, she will be a fighter John" Michael finished as they got to Natalie's room and John stopped and looked in, the site was heart breaking, and he went inside ..

Natalie lay sleeping, her belly no more and John felt his chest ache as he came next to her and took her hand in his, bringing it to his lips as he kissed it repeatedly..

Natalie's eyes began to flutter open as she laid there, feeling weight on her chest, it only took a few seconds for her to realize it was John, his head on her shoulder, his hand across her chest, resting on her heart, for a second she thought she was home, everything else seemed like a nightmare and she had finally woken up but looking around, it wasnt her room, it was a hospital room and she glanced at her now sunken belly and she began to scream, startling John as he awoke..

"my baby, my baby, where is my baby!" she screamed as John pulled her to him..

"shhhh Nat, its ok...everything is going to be ok" he tried to assure her but she cried hysterically..

"is our baby dead" she couldn't even fathom this as she cried and tried to get up, the visions of everything that happened filled her head..

"No...no Nat,...she isn't, our baby's alive" he held her tight as she cried against him..

"I wanna see my baby... I wanna see my baby" she cried and tried to fight against John and he held her down as a nurse came running in, a syringe in hand..

"what are you doing... what are you doing with that" John yelled at the nurse..

"Just giving her something to calm down" the nurse began as she grabbed natalies iv..

"No...John...no, don't let her...i need to see our baby, john, the baby" Natalie yelled and then quickly calmed down as the meds entered her system.."John" she said with a weakened voice..

"baby its ok, im here...im here and im not going anywhere" he smoothed back her hair, he was scared for her, he was scared for them..

"this should keep her calm for awhile, we cant have her tearing her stitches, she needs to gain strength back" the nurse said and john was grateful cause he didn't want anything else to happen to her, she was going to need her strength..

"my baby" natalie said with tears rolling down her face..

"Its a girl Nat, we have a baby girl" John kissed her forehead as she smiled through tears...

"a girl" Natalies eyes began to close.."go be with her, be with our baby" she fell asleep as she spoke and John held her close, he was too scared to leave her side, and even more scared to see their daughter..

John laid there watching her, holding her hand as she slept..The sound of the door opening caught his attention and her family stood there and he kissed Natalie's hand..

"John...why don't you go get something to drink, we can sit with her" Vicki said softly..

"If she wakes up and im not here" he said to her mother..

"she'll be sleeping for a little while longer John" Michael said as he came into the room.."i need to talk to you " the seriousness in his brothers voice made his heart race...

John looked to Natalie again, kissing her forehead.."im not going far sweetheart"

John followed Michael out of the room, he couldn't bear anymore bad news, his heart couldn't take it..

"John,...your daughter" Michael began and Johns breathing got heavier..

"she's ok, right Mikey, please don't tell me she's..." he couldn't even finish his sentence..

"she's fighting John, she's fighting hard, I really think you need to be in there with her, talk to her, let her know your there, let her know she has something to fight for"

"Mikey...i …...cant" john shook his head, his eyes welling up ..

"she needs you John, she is fighting for her life, she needs you"

"Im scared Mikey, im so scared right now" John covered his face as he tried to contain himself with no luck..

"She's alone in there, she needs her father" Michael began as John looked up, she needed her father, she needed him..

"I need her too" Johns voice cracked..

"Then come with me" Michael lead his brother away and down the hall..

Standing at the door of the Neonatal Unit, John froze, he was terrified to go inside but Michael opened the door and in the middle of the room lay an incubator, his heart began to race, and he moved slowly towards it, the chart attached to the side said "Baby McBain"..

John couldn't believe his eyes as he moved closer and looked into the box cause there lay a tiny baby, she was about the size of a banana, she had so many tubes hooked up to her, her eyes were covered, her little chest moved up and down with the air that was pumping through her, working as her lungs, she didn't seem real..

"hey sweetheart...its your daddy" he began to get choked up as he spoke, looking at his tiny daughter..."your beautiful like your mother, your gonna love her, she cant wait to see you" he touched the side of the incubator and her little legs kicked some.."You gotta be a big girl for your mommy and me" tears fell down his cheeks.."cause we love you baby girl, and we need you, we need you to fight and we will fight for you"

John sat in there for awhile, amazed at his baby, their sweet baby, looking at her, he felt her strength and for the first time since this day had started he felt hope..He hadn't even realized how much time had passed, he was mesmerized with her, he talked to her about everything, he spoke of Natalie..

The sound of the door opening made him turn and there was a red bloodshot eyed Natalie in a wheelchair, Michael pushing her..

"she is relentless" Michael began as John rushed to her, he could see the fear in her eyes..

"She is so beautiful Natalie, she is amazing" John held her hand as her eyes blinked away tears..

From the moment the medication wore off she threw a fit, first cause John wasnt there and secondly cause she needed to see her daughter, she had a daughter, her and John had a baby but being in the room now she was scared to death...

"I...i...i don't think I can do this" her breathing got fast as she looked across the room at the incubator..

"she misses you Nat" John said as he squeezed her hand..

"I miss her too" Natalie's hands went to her belly as she looked at John and he wiped away her tears as his own filled in his eyes..

"she's a fighter Natalie, she takes after her mother"

"John...im scared what if...what if she doesn't make it" her hands trembled at the thought and he squeezed them tight..

"You have to see her,...see how strong she is" John looked into her blue eyes and Natalie nodded her head with tears as he pushed her over in the wheelchair and she gasped as she saw the tiny body and john quickly held her hand as they stood there staring at Baby McBain..

**"Tangled Up In You"**

You're my world  
The shelter from the rain  
You're the pills  
That take away my pain  
You're the light  
That helps me find my way  
You're the words  
When I have nothing to say

And in this world  
Where nothing else is true  
Here I am  
Still tangled up in you  
I'm still tangled up in you  
Still tangled up in you

You're the fire  
That warms me when i'm cold  
You're the hand  
I have to hold as I grow old  
You're the shore  
When I am lost at sea  
You're the only thing  
That I like about me

And in this world  
Where nothing else is true  
Here I am  
Still tangled up in you  
I'm still tangled up in you

How long has it been  
Since this storyline began  
And I hope it never ends  
And goes like this forever

In this world  
Where nothing else is true  
Here I am  
Still tangled up in you  
Tangled up in you  
I'm still tangled up in you  
Still tangled up in you 


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter Thirteen...

6 Months Later (Present Day)

Natalie wrapped baby Emily in her blanket as she cooed and made the sweetest baby sounds, this was suppose to be perfect, the perfect miracle baby but things were far from perfect, the only thing wonderful in all of this was Emily, the sound of the doorbell ringing made her heart sink as she scooped Emily up in her arms and answered the door..

John stood there, so much had happened over the past 6 months, some good and some so very bad, but looking at Natalie and their baby girl, he still felt hope..

"Your late" Natalie snapped bitterly at him as she held their daughter protectively..

1 month ago...

Today was the day Natalie and John had been waiting for, Emily was doing wonderfully, gaining weight, feeding regularly , she had been breathing on her own now, she finally hit 5 lbs and today they could bring her home.., They had both literally spent days up on days at the hospital, sometimes going in intervals so the other could sleep, it was wearing a toll on both of them, they couldnt wait to have their baby home so they could be a real family again..

She continued to get ready at home, John was meeting her at the hospital, a last minute call had him leaving the house but he promised he would be there and she knew he would but they had time, Natalie was still getting everything ready, she stopped at the door of the nursery and smiled, John was amazing, the work he did in the nursery, it was a wonderful surprise, one she definitely wasnt expecting..

The sound of the door bell ringing snapped her from her thoughts as she glanced at her watch, she had to go soon, she headed to the front door, the bell going off again..

"ok,...alright...im coming" she yelled out as she opened the door and her heart dropped as her eyes blinked at what stood before her, or better yet, who stood before her..."Cristian?" she said with shock, fear, confusion and emotion..

"hi Natalie" he took a deep breath.."Im back"

"what is going on here" she began to speak not necessarily to him, just in general, was she hallucinating, seeing things, had she eaten bad food and this was a side effect cause it seemed as though she was looking at her dead ex..

"natalie,... its really me, im alive... baby im alive" he said as he grabbed her tight, hugging her with all his might and she was shocked, beyond shocked, Cristian was there, like really there, in front of her, hugging her, this was real, he was there..

"Oh my god...oh my god" was all she could say as she hugged him back, she had no idea how this happened, how did this happen, Cris was dead, he was, she mourned him, the emotions hit her at once as she began to cry.."Oh my god Cris" she wrapped her arms around him tight.."how...i...you...we buried you...i saw.."

"Its really me, im so sorry, im so sorry I left you" he said as he held her and his words hit her..."its been so long, I can explain"

Natalie pushed him back, her emotions off the chart..."what?... you'll explain... explain what Cris,...how... how are you here, what the hell is going on!"

"Natalie please don't do this, I have waited so long for this, I wanted to tell you but John ,...he talked me out of it" her eyes grew wide as she heard his words, it was like a knife through the heart..

"What?..I don't understand How did John...How...John knew you were alive, he knew!" the reality of the situation at hand felt like a nightmare, she had no idea what was going on, she felt sick to her stomach..

"I wanted to tell you Natalie, tell you that I had to do this, but John, he said no...he said you moved on" Cris shook his head as Natalie looked on, she couldn't breathe as she looked at him, betrayal was at its worse, she couldn't even fathom what he was saying..."but I didn't know it was cause he moved on with you" he had anger in his voice as he reached for Natalie and she backed up, shaking her head..

"No, don't you touch me...you had to do this? You faked this?. My god, you faked your death, John knew...he...he" she gasped for air as she stood there, beginning to hyperventilate as her world started crashing down, Cris was alive, never dead and John knew..

"Natalie please" he reached for her again...

"NO!...Dont touch me, you did this on purpose!" she yelled as her voice cracked and tears streamed down her face, she thought of his funeral, the days and weeks that followed, the heart ache, the connecting with John, falling in love with him, and he knew, he knew Cris was alive, the pain was unbelievable..

"I wasnt going to be gone so long, Natalie I was so close to breaking this case" he began and her mouth opened in shock...

"A case, you did this for a case" she said with utter shock as she looked at him..She had mourned him, buried him, for weeks she wanted to die without him, she barely ate, she barely lived and he was alive all along working on a case, she couldn't believe this!

"Not just any case...The case, it was going to get us out of here, we could have a real life" he began and she smacked his face hard ..

"A real life, we had a real life You son of a bitch! How dare you, HOW DARE YOU!" she screamed..."get out.."

"Natalie, please...I love you" Cris pleaded..

"No,...no you don't, get away from me...GET OUT!" she screamed as she used all her strength to push him back as he stumbled...

"Just hear me" he pleaded with tears..

"OUT!" she slammed the door in his face as he yelled for her on the other side and she began to cry hysterically, how could this of happened, how could he have done to her, and John, she doubled over in pain as she grabbed her stomach, her heart was breaking into pieces..

Present Day...

"You could of called if you were going to be late but I guess this isn't a priority for you" Natalie spat at John, her anger ran deep, the pain even deeper as she looked at him, cause even though she confronted him on the day that was suppose to be the happiest of their life, bringing their daughter home, he pleaded his case but he was nothing but a liar, a selfish liar and she swore she would never forgive him...

"Are you going to do this every time I come over" John was angry, she wouldnt listen to him at all, she was being stubborn and he apologized, he tore his heart out for her, he laid it all out on the table, he begged her and she turned him away time and time again, now he was getting sick of it, sick of the attitude, sick of the fighting, what else did he have to do!.. "Im ten minutes late, there was traffic, im here to see my daughter not fight with you"

1 Month ago

John rushed home in record time, he hated that he was called in last minute to work but he was done now and he wanted to change before he got to the hospital, he hoped Natalie hadn't left yet, he had called her phone but no answer, it was a good sign, maybe she was in the shower..

He pulled up to the cottage, his heart racing with excitement, Emily was coming home, their baby was coming home, he opened the door.."Honey im home" he called out with a laugh as his eyes drifted to the couch, a red, bloodshot eyed Natalie stood.."baby whats wrong,.." fear coursed through his body, his immediate thought was something was wrong with Emily but before he could even ask she stood..

"did you know about Cris" she said straight to the point, she wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt, she had to, she loved him and she couldn't see him keeping this from her, her question shocked him as he stood there wide eyed, she knew!

She looked at the reaction on his face, her heart sunk further and all she could do was walk right up to him and slap him hard in the face..

"How fucking dare you!" she yelled as he stumbled back in shock..

Present Day

"she's on a schedule John and if you cant follow it" natalie began but John cut her off..

"Im not fighting in front of her" he reached for his daughter and Natalie reluctantly handed her over.."How is my sweet little girl" Natalie sighed deep..

"the bottles are in the fridge, diapers are" she began to bark orders and he just looked at her..

"i think I have this handled" he walked past her, his daughter in his arms.."you can go now" he didn't look at her, if she was going to continue to be like this then he wasnt going to have any part of it, this was his time with Natalie and he wasnt going to let her ruin it, the sound of the door shutting made his heart sink as he took Emily into the nursery..

Since the day Natalie confronted John they had split custody with Emily, Natalie had told him he could see her on the weekends, but John had no part of it, he wanted to see her daily and natalie would just have to deal with that, so since John had moved out and was staying in a motel for now, he would come and see Emily at the cottage and Natalie would leave, it was a miserable situation..

But not nearly as miserable as the day his world fell apart...

1 Month ago

The slaps kept coming as natalie yelled and cried hysterically, john had to grab her hands, he caught bits and pieces of her screaming..

"Natalie please, please calm down" he tried to restrain her and she fought against him...

"Calm down!, How... you knew, you knew about Cris and you said nothing, NOTHING!" she yanked her arms back from him, she was broken, totally broken and betrayed..

"it wasnt like that Natalie" he began to say as she laughed between sobs...

"I knew something was up, I knew it" she began to pace..."You must have had a nice laugh about this, stupid , naive little Nat, doesn't know anything, how could you!"

"baby you have to understand"

"Dont you baby me, you make me sick"

"I love you Natalie, you have to believe me, I was going to tell you"

"Tell me, when...when John before or after you married me, knowing that...that he was alive, cris is alive and you let me think he was dead" she covered her face as she wept..

"natalie I don't know who told you all of this" he began and she uncovered her face..

"what? Are you gonna try to lie to me some more now, are you? I got the news from the horses mouth, from Cris!" she yelled and his heart dropped and rage filled his blood..

"I love you" John said with deep breaths as his eyes welled up..

"You lied to me, how long did you know, TELL ME!"

"a few months" he said with tears and her eyes grew wide..

"get out, just get the fuck out John" she yelled as she pointed at the door..

"Natalie, what about Emily, what about our family, we have a future planned"

"we had, past tense now...and don't worry about Emily, she will be just fine, now get out!"

"i know your mad, I didn't want to hurt you, I never wanted to hurt you, natalie there wasnt a good time to tell you" his voice was pleading and she so wanted to believe him, to make this all better but she couldn't, how could she..

"How about all those times you were telling me how much you loved me, how about then, how about when we were making love, how about when we were planning our wedding!"

"I was going to, that day, that day Marty came by" Natalie's eyes grew wide..

"she knew...didn't she" John just shook his head, it felt like his heart was being ripped out , all he wanted to do was hold her, hold her and promise that everything would be ok, that he would protect her, that he loved her more then life itself.."Oh thats just great John,...im sure she got a kick out of that" she spun around , she was mortified, humiliated..

"when things got better with Emily I was going to tell you, I didn't want to upset you"

"Upset me, are you kidding" she cried... "You made a mockery of me, of us John.. You lied to my face day in and day out, you knew he was alive, you told him not to tell me!"

"He hurt you Natalie, he left, he did this, planned this, I didn't want to hurt you"

"You should of told me, the day you found out you should of told me"

"you just found out you were pregnant, I ...i couldn't" he hung his head as he stood there..

"i could of handled it, took care of it with you,...cause I …...i loved you john"

"you still love me Natalie" he walked towards her and she backed up from him, shaking her head..

"I hate you,...I hate you and I always will" her words yanked at his heart with such force he was sure he would have a heart attack...

Present Day

Natalie walked through the park, her heart as heavy as it was when she saw Cris a month ago, she wanted to put trust in John, to just forgive him but how could she, he didn't trust her enough to tell her about Cris, they could of worked through it but he lied, he lied to her everyday that he kept that secret and that hurt more then anything cause if he lied about Cris then what else was he lying about, she knew it was all too good to be true!

She had seen Cris one more day after his surprise visit, and the scene that unraveled was unreal..

1 Month ago

Natalie had just laid Emily down, only 2 days home from the hospital and nothing was going as planned and the sound of two male voices in the yard made her spring into action cause she knew those voices all too well, it was John and Cris..

"You son of a bitch I swear to god if you don't get away from this house!" John yelled as Cris stood by his car..

"Im not leaving till I see her, till I see Natalie" Cris yelled..

John was beyond angry, he wanted to pound Cris into next week, he caused all of this, every single bit of it.. But now the door was swinging open and Natalie was storming out..

"I have a baby trying to sleep in there!" she yelled at both of them, just wanting them to leave..

"I just need to talk to you" Cris began..

"Like hell you do, you've done enough, your not coming around my daughter" John balled his fists up tight..

"That was my family, MINE, you took it from me!" Cris yelled

"You gave it away you piece of shit!" John stood his ground..

"ENOUGH!" Natalie yelled out making both guys stop for a second.."Go in the house and watch the baby John, she is sleeping" she said through gritted teeth and John just stood there, not wanting to leave her alone with Cris, he seemed unstable.."Now!" she yelled and John gave Cris a warning..

"If you do anything" John began and then walked inside..

"natalie im just so" Cris began as he walked towards her and she put her hand out to stop him..

"don't...don't come any closer to me" she began as he stopped in his tracks..."I have a baby inside who needs me, I don't have time for this and I have nothing and I mean nothing else to say to you"

"Oh so your just going to stick by your other man, the one who lied to you" Cris snapped and natalie couldn't help but laugh sarcastically..

"oh were going to talk about lying, huh...pot calling the kettle black don't you think, what I do with John is no concern of yours"

"He kept you from knowing about me"

"No Cris you did that all yourself when you died on me" she spun around and headed for the house ..

"Im not going anywhere Natalie, I LOVE YOU" Cris yelled as she slammed the door on him and when she got inside John stood there, looking at her, this was the first time she even looked at him since Emily came home, he wanted to hug her, hold her, and she looked like she wanted it to..

Before he could say anything she did.."the only reason your in here is because of Emily" she spat as she walked past him..

Present Day

Natalie sat on the park bench, she loved him, god how she loved that man but the hurt was so unbelievable, even seeing Cris, she would of expected herself to feel differently cause her and Cris had been together for years but seeing him it didn't feel the same, yes she was angry that he betrayed her, lied to her but if he hadn't she would of never had John and Emily, the sad part is she was somewhat grateful for being with John out of Cris's supposed death and that weighed heavy on her cause what kind of person did that make her...

John stood in the nursery looking at Emily as she slept now, he stroke the little red lock on her forehead, she was the spitting image of her mother, so beautiful..

"Im gonna fix this angel, im gonna make your mommy see and im going to come home" he whispered as he looked at his little girl, he would make this right, natalie was just angry but he could see that spark, it never left her eyes, she still loved him and thats all he had to know, it wasnt over yet, it would never be over..


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter Fourteen

By the time Natalie got back to the house it was dark and she took a deep breath as she walked inside, just a small light on in the livingroom, John was fast asleep on the chair, the portable bassinet they had was next to him with Emily sleeping soundly, his hand dangiling into the small crib with her tiny hand grasping his finger, it made Natalie's heart drop at the sweet sight as tears filled her eyes..

John began to open his eyes, the aroma filling the air was one of coconut and he knew that smell, the smell of her shampoo and he looked up and there she stood, looking shocked for a second as she stood there, tears in her eyes, he glanced at Emily, he hated leaving her..

Natalie quickly walked into the kitchen, she wasnt going to let him see her like this, so vulnerable..

John got up slowly so he didnt wake up the baby as he pushed back his hair and contemplated what to do, his feet lead him into the kitchen where Natalie stood, her back turned making a cup of coffee..

Oh she knew he was there, the instant he stepped in the door way she could feel his presence but she didnt turn around, she couldnt face him, she was mad damn it..

John just stood there and watched her, he felt like they were making progress, no more yelling or hitting, that had to be a good sign..

"You can make yourself a cup of coffee, and let yourself out" she said with a quick breath as she tried to move past him and he reached out, stopping her, he knew this was kind of dangerous, especially since she had a pipping hot cup of coffee in hand and it could easily get thrown at him..

"i miss you" he kept his hand on her shoulder then brushed a piece of her hair back and for a seocnd she got lost in his touch..

"Its late" she tried to shake the feeling off of herself, but was having an incredibly difficult time doing so..

"do you know that from the time you told me that you were carrying our child all I thought about was how this was meant to be, our future was being paved for us and I couldnt of been happier,...it was one of the happiest moments of my life" he kept his hand on her and glanced towards the living room.." she is beautiful Natalie our daughter is so precious,...I cant lose you both, I just cant "

Natalie stood there with tears in her eyes..

"I lied to you, it was so wrong but I love you Natalie, I love you more then life itself and our daughter,... I will do anything for you, for both of you, forever" his hand dropped from her as he stood there..."Tell me you dont love me, if you say it I swear I wont bother you with this anymore, just tell me to go away and leave you alone and dont look back"

" I cant" she whispered with tears as her hands began to shake and he reached down and removed her coffee cup, his hand going to her face as he looked at her..

"why,... I need to hear you say it so bad, cause standing here with you and not being able to hold you like I want, to tell you that everything is going to be ok, its killing me" tears filled in his eyes..

"I cant" she spun from him but he grabbed her back to him and hugged her tight, surprisingly she returned it..She cried against him, it had been so long, too long, the feeling of warmth in his arms, how strong he felt, his scent, his breath in her ear.."I missed this" she cried against him, letting her guard completely down..

"We shouldnt have to miss each other anymore" he held her tighter.."Im going to make everything up to you"

"No more lies" she pulled back and looked at him and he wiped her tears, she did the same for him...

"Never again" he took her mouth with his, kissing her passionately, lovingly and slowly he pulled back and looked at her..

"wow" they both said breathlessly in unison as Emily began to cry and they both turned to the living room, and immediately headed in there, stopping as they saw who stood in the room, Emily in his arms, it was Cris..

Natalie gasped with fear..

"what are you doing Cris, put the baby down" John felt fear course through his body, Cris was out of control, unstable..

Cris backed up some.."No...no, why do you get the happily ever after , HUH" he yelled as Emily screamed on and natalie panicked as she cried..

"Please Cris just put her down, I will talk to you, ok...i will talk, I will talk" she said with tears streaming down her face as her baby cried and Cris looked down at the baby then back at John and Natalie..

"Just listen to her Cris, we can all talk, ok man" John tried to keep his cool but this lunatic had his daughter in his arms, John was scared to make a wrong move...

"You think im stupid or something, do I look stupid!" Cris yelled and Natalie's heart dropped..

"Your...your scaring her Cris, she is just a baby, please" Natalie began to cry..

"should of been mine, OURS, not his... you were my best friend" he yelled loud and then pulled out a gun, waving it at them as natalie let out a scream..

"we can fix this Cris...like old times, just put the baby down" John said as calm as he could but his heart was racing..

"Please dont do this, please dont" Natalie began to scream out..

"shut up, just shut the fuck up" Cris yelled loud as he steadied the gun towards John, and Natalie gasped, covering her mouth ..

"Cris look at what your doing" John began, the sound of Natalie and his daughter crying was becoming unbearable to watch, he had to end this..

"One big happy family, right... for months I have been trying to give us a better future, for months" Cris yelled..."How long did you mourn for me, huh...huh, cause according to Marty you couldnt wait to get in her pants, aint that right John, couldnt wait to just take over" Cris was acting insane, his eyes spoke volumes, he was losing his mind...

"we mourned for you, both of us,...it just happened, didnt plan it" John began but it only seemed to make Cris madder..

"Mourned your way right into my life, right into my girlfriends bed" he yelled..

"Your right...Cris your right, he did...he...he... he manipulated me, I was vulnerable" Natalie began to lie as John looked at her..

"Your just saying that" Cris kept the gun on them.."Your just saying that to shut me up"

"No,...no...i just, I told John tonight, I told im it was over between us...that you were back, we were going to be together" she smiled through tears ..

Cris's face softened a bit as he looked at her, John was just looking for the perfect opportunity...

"I um...ive been thinking about what you said, about our life together, and I want that, me, you, the baby" Natalie shook like crazy as she stared at Cris, hoping he would buy it and he looked at the baby and he smiled some..

"she looks like you" he smiled as he looked at Natalie

"she is so innocent in all of this Cris, she...she could be ours" Natalie swallowed the lump in her throat..

"He'll never let us be together, he wont just walk away" he pointed the gun at John more and Natalie gasped quickly, and tried to remain calm..

"He will,...wont you John,... he isnt ready to be a dad, come on Cris, this is John...still the same old John" she was pleading with him now..

"I cant stand kids" John forced the words out as he stood there and Cris looked at him, studying him..

"he is too much of a complication" Cris cocked back the gun..

"No no no no" Natalie began to yell frantically as Cris looked at her..." we cant, we cant have a life together if you kill him"

"we can live on the run, ive done it for months" and he had, hell his family still had no idea he was alive...

"But the baby, we cant do that to our baby Cris"

"Our baby" his voice softened even more..

"Yes, our baby" Natalie couldnt even look at John, even though she was lying she could feel the pain radiating off of him as she spoke..

The sound of the front door opening caught them all off guard " Hows my little niece doing" Michael called out then stopped but it was just enough time for Natalie to run to Cris, grabbing the baby from his arms as John tackled him to the ground.."Natalie run!" Michael yelled in fear as natalie began to go down the hall and a gun shot went off and she locked herself in the nursery with Emily as, emily screamed and cried...

"shhh shhh, its ok ,...its ok baby" Natalie tried to rock her but fear coursed through her, another gun shot went off and Natalie yelped and ran across the room, emily against her chest..

It was only seconds when there was pounding on the bedroom door and Natalie yelped and screamed..

"Natalie...Natalie open up, its Michael, Johns been shot!" Michael yelled as Natalie stood there in fear, then quickly put Emily in her crib and opened the door, emily still screaming as she ran into the living room, but not just John lay on the ground, Cris as well...

"Oh my gawd" she screamed out as Michael was on the phone with 911 as he held his hand on Johns gunshot wound to the stomach..

"where's the baby" John said to Natalie as he laid there..

"she's safe, oh god John" she looked at him then to Cris who was dead, a shot to the neck, she had to look away as she grabbed Johns hand.."Your gonna be ok John"

"It doesnt even hurt" he smiled some and she cried as Michael talked frantically on the phone, explaining what happened.."he cant hurt you anymore, I love you"

"I know...i love you too John" she held his hand until the paramedics got there..

15 years later

John sat at the breakfast table, coffee in hand as he read the paper, a flash of red caught his eye and his glanced up..

"hey hey... wait a second young lady" he called out as a sigh could be heard..

"Im gonna be late for the beach dad" Emily sighed with aggravation and John got up and went into the livingroom..

"yeah I would say so cause your not wearing that to the beach" he looked at his daughter, dressed in a tank top and shorts, the spitting image of Natalie, she was beautiful with long red hair, bright blue eyes and dressed way to mature for her age..

"Dad!" she whined..."Mommmmmmmmm!"

" go get changed... dont you have something that covers you up more" he shook his head as he looked at his daughter..

"Its summer dad" she huffed loud..

"John" natalie said as she came into the room, looking as beautiful as ever, even now when he saw her his heart skipped a beat.."Have fun at the beach sweetie" Natalie said to Emily who smiled and then rolled her eyes at John..

"i saw that, did you see that" he looked at natalie..

"john just let her have fun" Natalie put her arm around him, even 15 yrs later john was still the most handsome and seductive man she had ever laid her eyes on..

"she's barely dressed" he began as emily grabbed her purse and took off.."she was barely dressed"..

"she's going to the beach John, I do believe it is legal to wear shorts to the beach" natalie rolled her eyes playfully at him and then wrapped her arms around his neck.."just wait till you see the outfit she has for the fall dance" natalie smiled and johns eyes got wide..

"oh no...no no no" he began as natalie leaned up and kissed him..."dont try and distract me woman"

"uh hmmm" natalie grinned as she kissed him again...

"she doesnt need to go to a dance" he began and natalie kissed him again..

"she's only 15" he said quickly as natalie looked at him...

" she's growing up john"

"Well I dont like it" he sighed deep, he liked it better when she thought he was the best thing in the world, the days of reading her books, having tea parties and picking her up were over.."cant we just rewind and make her little again, when she was sweet and didnt talk back"

"well John we cant rewind but" Natalie smiled and he had seen that look before.."but we can start again"

"what...your not" he didnt finish as Natalie smiled big and placed his hand on her stomach..

"uh huh...john were having a baby"

The End


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